Gripes that lead to seclusion

So much has happened. Worldliness has definitely reared its ugly foot in a blatant manner, to create an imbalance against pure service. Calm peace was once again ostracized in the process. Hypocrisy was the sweeping label. Sincere relation was pushed out of the realm, what more empathy.

Tastes were below expectation, or is it that expectations were too idealistic? Initial regret over the lack of capture of the actual delivery was replaced by comforting unity in the deficiency. Masked mixing gladly gave way to natural bonds. Truly, time and familial genes are not potent. How can they be when knowledge and realization of different agendas were revealed?

Worldliness again took a strong precedence in the desire for physical drifting. An accumulation of fear effected itself, probably due to dormant fatigue too. The future seems dark and unfathomable, but it is possibly due to a deficient lifting up. Gratitude is intense in divine messages of reassurance, counselling gems of seniority, and especially safe warmth and caring genuinity.

More proof has shown itself in the inability to be a true educator. Self-need gets in the way of pure service which does not count the costs. Perhaps the deteriorated economy is the reason for it. Then again, it may be the adamant choice of physical and spiritual drift from prayer perfection in the faith. This does explain the deplorable deviation from musicality. With such drifting, how can there be a lack of guilt in testimony to the marvels of the Omnipotent? Of course, there is a sense of awareness that self-righteous judgement and condescension cannot rule.

Spams of opinions haven't ended with the gift of monetary input. Annoyance increases with the delusion that addiction is due to outward welfare. Never-ceasing misperception of thoughts and appalling linguistics contribute to the increased levels.

It is a tragedy to note that spiritual levels have deteriorated with the choice of rest. Does this realization and its cause exist though? With the bombardment of emotion, even the choice of expression has suffered, or is the choice due to the desire to gain attention and sympathy?

Obstinate choices to deviate from the materialization of prior knowledge have resulted in instability and unnecessary attacks of emotion. This incurs buried resentment and irritation, but I recall a wise saying of turning it into pity. This obstinacy also causes a lack of self-awareness, which should have been initially evident. I guess the awareness has now been obtained via a harsh and tedious journey.

There is an epiphanical realization that the phenomenon of physical driftness from prayer perfection is due to unworthiness and guilt over sin. Then a desire for humble acknowledgement of the truth and repentance must occur. Only then can life move forward and the return to home finally happen. The irony is that there is a verbalization of the expectation of prayer in that setting. Then again, God knows. I should not judge.