A big step

I wrote to this Company and I will see how things go. This is the blog website: .

I saw the advertisement in the Catholic News. I want to at least try and see whether I can be a Consecrated Lay Person. Of course, it is God's calling that should be the primary reason but I must take the first step.

"The Lord who scrutinizes our hearts would work mysteriously to convey his messge(sic) and will to us." This is taken from one of the entries of the blog. It just 'struck' me in the face unawares. I feel that it is a message for me, an assurance to me.

Ramblings and Musings

How can it be only "human"? We are not merely human but temples of the Holy Spirit and daughters of God. As such, the content is impure and immoral. It is even subconsciously idolatrous and adulterous. It is not due to biological impulses or "ovulation". These explanations probably stem from a prior decision to have enjoining contact in advance and a lack of repentance towards it.

As Heaven's potential citizens, don't we have the responsibility to purify our souls for our Master? Only Jesus can truly satisfy the yearnings of our soul, not a human. Needless to say, the earthly exception to this is marriage as a vocation.

Sexual impurity is idolatry: Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry (Col. 3:5).
This is taken from http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com

I have a real problem. I fell into temptation again. Who am I to judge others for similar offences then? One simple inclination led to boundaries being pushed further till I went back to what I wanted to avoid. From there, there was no turning back and despair took over. Continuous viewing ruled.

The physical worship shown is not true worship. It smacks of impurity and lust. The appeal of the act makes me out to be a beast. It is not the yearn for love or marriage anymore. As a result, biological reactions are caused, and still exist.

A Christmas prayer

"The Christmas Prayer"
By Robert Louis Stevenson

Loving Father,
Help us remember the birth of Jesus,
that we may share in the song of the angels,
the gladness of the shepherds, and worship of the wise men.

Close the door of hate and open the door of love all over the world. Let kindness come with every gift and good desires with every greeting. Deliver us from evil by the blessing which Christ brings, and teach us to be merry with clear hearts.

May the Christmas morning make us happy to be Thy children, and Christmas evening bring us to our beds with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven, for Jesus' sake. Amen.

(from beliefnet.com)

A new dimension to my prayer for work

I used to pray that I would be God's instrument to my students before I met them. Over time, I got lazy and did not pray this. However, since it was an extra prayer to my usual daily prayer time, things are not compromised even though I don't do this anymore.

I've realised that if I turn to God on a daily basis, He will use me as I go about the rest of the day. It comes from the establishment of my daily prayer routine. I do not need to say the extra prayer as I used to. He still grants me inspiration to go about my lessons, according to the different students I teach, and self-awareness when I am about to lose control of my temper, to calm down and retain the bringing of His patience and love to them.

I remember someone telling me that I do not need to go for Charismatic sessions on a weekly basis, as I used to. Once they have been established as a foundation, the graces will stay in me even if I go for them less often. I am living this out. I still listen to Hillsongs at home and whenever I do go for the sessions, I realise that I'm just returning home for nourishment before I set out again. I also remember someone else telling me that the Spirit communicates with me wherever I am. It is not restricted to a particular setting. The most powerful sign of this truth is when my mum's pastor friend told me that He is very strong in me. I am privileged.

Madonna's impending concert in Poland

She plans to hold it on August 15th, the Feast of Assumption and Armed Forces Day. This would cause many Catholic fans to go for it, instead of going for mass. Thus, I can understand why the Polish Catholics are incensed over this.

She may be a lapsed Catholic but being born in the faith means she is aware of this Feast. After all, she strayed from it only when she was an adult. This is showing utter disrespect to the religion she was brought up in. Her decision to convert should not be an act of "worldly evangelism" towards the Catholics as well.

They are praying for her concert to be thwarted. I prayed for this intention too. Indeed, she is a disgrace to our faith and has been blasphemous towards it. She once insulted the Pope at her concert. I hope that this prayer will be answered.

Gripes that lead to seclusion

So much has happened. Worldliness has definitely reared its ugly foot in a blatant manner, to create an imbalance against pure service. Calm peace was once again ostracized in the process. Hypocrisy was the sweeping label. Sincere relation was pushed out of the realm, what more empathy.

Tastes were below expectation, or is it that expectations were too idealistic? Initial regret over the lack of capture of the actual delivery was replaced by comforting unity in the deficiency. Masked mixing gladly gave way to natural bonds. Truly, time and familial genes are not potent. How can they be when knowledge and realization of different agendas were revealed?

Worldliness again took a strong precedence in the desire for physical drifting. An accumulation of fear effected itself, probably due to dormant fatigue too. The future seems dark and unfathomable, but it is possibly due to a deficient lifting up. Gratitude is intense in divine messages of reassurance, counselling gems of seniority, and especially safe warmth and caring genuinity.

More proof has shown itself in the inability to be a true educator. Self-need gets in the way of pure service which does not count the costs. Perhaps the deteriorated economy is the reason for it. Then again, it may be the adamant choice of physical and spiritual drift from prayer perfection in the faith. This does explain the deplorable deviation from musicality. With such drifting, how can there be a lack of guilt in testimony to the marvels of the Omnipotent? Of course, there is a sense of awareness that self-righteous judgement and condescension cannot rule.

Spams of opinions haven't ended with the gift of monetary input. Annoyance increases with the delusion that addiction is due to outward welfare. Never-ceasing misperception of thoughts and appalling linguistics contribute to the increased levels.

It is a tragedy to note that spiritual levels have deteriorated with the choice of rest. Does this realization and its cause exist though? With the bombardment of emotion, even the choice of expression has suffered, or is the choice due to the desire to gain attention and sympathy?

Obstinate choices to deviate from the materialization of prior knowledge have resulted in instability and unnecessary attacks of emotion. This incurs buried resentment and irritation, but I recall a wise saying of turning it into pity. This obstinacy also causes a lack of self-awareness, which should have been initially evident. I guess the awareness has now been obtained via a harsh and tedious journey.

There is an epiphanical realization that the phenomenon of physical driftness from prayer perfection is due to unworthiness and guilt over sin. Then a desire for humble acknowledgement of the truth and repentance must occur. Only then can life move forward and the return to home finally happen. The irony is that there is a verbalization of the expectation of prayer in that setting. Then again, God knows. I should not judge.

English translation of hebrew portion in When You Believe.

A-shi-ra la-do-nai ki ga-oh ga-ah
(I will sing to the Lord, for he has triumphed gloriously)
A-shi-ra la-do-nai ki ga-oh ga-ah
(I will sing to the Lord, for he has triumphed gloriously)
Mi-cha-mo-cha ba-elim adonai
(Who is like You, oh Lord, among the celestial)
Mi-ka-mo-cha ne-dar- ba-ko-desh
(Who is like You, majestic in holiness)
Na-chi-tah v'-chas-d'-cha am zu ga-al-ta
(In Your love, You lead the people You redeemed)
Na-chi-tah v'-chas-d'-cha am zu ga-al-ta
(In Your love, You lead the people You redeemed)
A-shi-ra, a-shi-ra, a-shi-ra...
(I will sing, I will sing, I will sing)

This portion has become more meaningful when I hear this song, and when I sing this portion, I will ensure that I sing it in a reverent manner, knowing that it is a praise to our God for what He has done for us.