This year's was a markedly different one. I was excited for a non-Catholic friend who had wanted to see what Maundy Thursday mass is like. Though I had to inform her of certain rules pertaining to my Church, she took all of it in stride. Bless her! We had our usual choir reflection and the theme was on Temptations. I learnt some new perspectives on this topic and added my two cents' worth as well. I went on to spend some time with our Lord in His agony. The garden evoked certain poignant thoughts within me as I beheld its dissimilar portrayal. A huge ciborium was used to house our Lord and somehow that made Him seem in repose. I was not just brought back to the historical setting of Gethsamane but to the subsequent events too. It was as if Good Friday came early for me. I had a question for Him: What can I do to alleviate your agony? I felt so helpless at that moment. Then I sang to Him a song we sing at the Christmas pageant to Him: What can I give you, poor as I am?/If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb/If I were a wise man, I would do my part/But what can I give you?/I will give my heart/I will give my heart.
On Good Friday, the service was strenuous for my legs but I gladly did it for our Lord. How much more did He suffer for me! We had to kneel and stand for the General Intercessions but of course, I sat and stood. To others who may not fully understand my condition, it may seem easier for me. However, it was harder for me, not just due to my condition but also to the action of interchanging both gestures which was a strain on my joints. We sang God So Loved The World by Bob Chilcott and this time, I sang it with a small smile on my face, which symbolised my gratitude for His love. We sang for the outdoor Stations of the Cross too. The passion of our Lord was reenacted by the youths and Father Bosco himself. It was made more real for me as a result. Though I knew that it was merely acting, I was undeniably affected by it. As we sang God So Loved The World again, my eyes were understandably teary. Seeing it right before my eyes made a vast difference for me. As we followed the procession amidst the Stations reflection, my legs were again being strained but I did so for my Lord. My Altos were sweet enough to think of my welfare and I treasure those loving thoughts. However, at that point, I felt that my Lord was the focus and I was insignificant. Despite the subsequent instability of my leg condition, I feel the sufferings were worth it. After all, it was for the One who loves us more than any human can.
Holy Saturday had a thrill of anticipation for me as I awaited His Resurrection. With it came freedom and celebration of the joy brought forth. When it was the start of the Easter Vigil, Easter had come for me :) There was no more want, thirst and deprivation, but fulfillment, satiation and indulgence.
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