That secret place

I had a dilemma between going for a talk and staying home to be with myself. The talk promised blessings, miracles, wonders from the Lord and an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. However, I felt rather that my soul yearned for silence, quiet refreshment and comfort from the Lord. With that, I thought of a precious CD I had bought. It is called Hillsong Instrumental Series, the secret place.

I played it and though I love singing to the Lord, somehow I wanted to listen to the tracks. Perhaps this is what is meant by your heart singing. I don't mean the happiness that comes with hearing a piece of good news but a silent tongue that belies a soul 'singing' with the music to the Maker. I am listening to it as I type this entry. It is as if the instruments are 'singing' for me as they play the tunes.

The music led me into a state of silence and prayer, where I just wanted to be with the Lord of silence. I have mentioned the word "silence" in its different forms thrice. I guess my mum was perceptive in noting that I am sensitive to silence. I can 'hear' the silence present in a church, not the silence that comes from absence of noise, but the silence that is a result of the presence of the Lord.

It led me to reflect on my discernment of the Lord's calling for me. It is not His will for me to be a religious, a state which I once associated with silence and refuge; a sanctuary from the negative forces of the world. However, a realization from the Lord came. I am then to find silences, to create silences in the world He has called me to remain in. For now, I have finally experienced my first time of finding His silence; that secret place in which the Father is as mentioned in Matthew 6:6. I hope to find more of these secret places of silence in this world.

I have had the privilege of already being privy to these places, through my last silent retreat where I was surrounded by nature. Nature is God's gift to me, an environment which renders His voice more perceptible and louder to me. I feel just like William Wordsworth who expounded his revelry of nature in his poems. Another special place is being with my bestie, conversing together about life's lessons and praying together to our Lord. Each time I have with him is rarity itself though.

Now I feel my soul is at rest; at peace, as I beheld the Lord in that secret place through His music of gentle quietness. Meeting with Him for even one moment like that heals and refreshes my soul. I have experienced that sanctuary; refuge from the negative forces of the world through the music. Praise Him for revealing His gentle wash of love to me in the world I am and for showing me how He transcends my limited perceptions of Him.