An Aussie student is selling his life on Ebay. The buyer will take on his name, lifestyle, skills and relationships.
It seems to indicate that he is unhappy with his life. A story goes that this man was unhappy with his cross in life and asked God to give him a lighter one. God let him choose his own in a room of crosses and he chose the smallest and thinnest one. It turned out to be his initial one.
The grass is always greener on the other side but our lives have a purpose. It is just that we don't see it immediately. The reason is usually evident after we carry our crosses and learn lessons from them.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Christmas meaning
Silva Kandiah mentioned the season of Yuletide as deviating towards secular commercialism when it is really of Christian origin. She wondered how Singapore Christians dealt with this inaccurate portrayal of Christmas. She presented a contradiction between the decorated atmosphere and the actual meaning of the occasion.
As a Roman Catholic, I don't see the ambiguity involved in celebrating this season. I do admire the decorations along the roads, put up the Christmas tree in my home and buy a new outfit every year for midnight mass. However, I know that the intrinsic values of the occasion are still very much prevalent in my life.
My admiration of the decorations is from a purely aesthetic point of view while the new outfit is the only secular indulgence I give myself.
The tree is green, which represents everlasting life given so abundantly by my Saviour. I buy gifts for and give cards to people because giving is better than receiving, as it brightens their hearts and expresses God's love to them through me. I try to donate to the Salvation Army's pot too, as charity goes hand in hand with Christmas.
Most importantly, this season reminds me again of God's generous love towards me when He gave His Son to me. Being in my church choir helps me to be more aware of my mission to spread God's love through song as well.
As a Roman Catholic, I don't see the ambiguity involved in celebrating this season. I do admire the decorations along the roads, put up the Christmas tree in my home and buy a new outfit every year for midnight mass. However, I know that the intrinsic values of the occasion are still very much prevalent in my life.
My admiration of the decorations is from a purely aesthetic point of view while the new outfit is the only secular indulgence I give myself.
The tree is green, which represents everlasting life given so abundantly by my Saviour. I buy gifts for and give cards to people because giving is better than receiving, as it brightens their hearts and expresses God's love to them through me. I try to donate to the Salvation Army's pot too, as charity goes hand in hand with Christmas.
Most importantly, this season reminds me again of God's generous love towards me when He gave His Son to me. Being in my church choir helps me to be more aware of my mission to spread God's love through song as well.
Playing God
Euthanasia or "mercy killing" is rampant in the world and is carried out on both humans as well as animals. It is labelled as "mercy killing" because it supposedly releases the patient from continual pain and suffering while alive. Withdrawing the life support system or injecting a lethal drug that induces death is really freeing them and giving them relief. They cease suffering a fate worse than death if they continue living.
I feel that these reasons are really meant to justify the act but the underlying implications are somewhat neglected. It's really playing God here. No human can decide to take away a fellow human's life, or his own life for that matter. In both instances, he's placing himself on par with our Creator, the One who gives us life and death, by His will. That's exactly what Lucifer did. We're equal to our fellow humans and don't have the perogative to decide for them or for ourselves. We are always going to be less equal to our God, accept that!
I feel that these reasons are really meant to justify the act but the underlying implications are somewhat neglected. It's really playing God here. No human can decide to take away a fellow human's life, or his own life for that matter. In both instances, he's placing himself on par with our Creator, the One who gives us life and death, by His will. That's exactly what Lucifer did. We're equal to our fellow humans and don't have the perogative to decide for them or for ourselves. We are always going to be less equal to our God, accept that!
Strength amidst loss
My friend lost her husband and I thank God for making me stay strong for my friend, such that I can focus on my duties and sing Gloria as well as Alleluia at mass. However, certain things can trigger the sadness. A song which I wanted to show her but haven't got the chance to and seeing her break down. Still, even the strong at heart are susceptible to emotion, as my friend told me.
O God You Search Me
O God you search me and you know me
All my thoughts lie open to your gaze
And in all that I do you are before me
Ever the Maker and keeper of my day
You are my resting and rising
You discern my purpose from afar
And with love everlasting you besiege me
At every moment of life and death you are
Although your spirit is upon me
I still seek shelter from your wings
There is nowhere on earth I can escape you
Even the darkness is radiant in your light
I met this friend a week after the proceedings and at that time, she was still very bad in coping with the issue. I felt heartpain at seeing her and broke down while praying for her. I felt so helpless but I knew that the only thing I could do for her was to pray for her. Indeed, God answered our prayers and she was much better in a shorter time than expected. When I met up with her the following week, she was back to normal and could talk about him and the proceedings too. I was heartened to see that. I was also glad to realise that our friendship was not different even though we had lost touch over time.
God has planned a future for her and He has thus kept His word that He will take care of her.
When I think about the heavens, the moon and all the stars
I wonder what you ever saw in me
But you took me and you loved me
And you've given me a home
And now I praise your name eternally
O God You Search Me
O God you search me and you know me
All my thoughts lie open to your gaze
And in all that I do you are before me
Ever the Maker and keeper of my day
You are my resting and rising
You discern my purpose from afar
And with love everlasting you besiege me
At every moment of life and death you are
Although your spirit is upon me
I still seek shelter from your wings
There is nowhere on earth I can escape you
Even the darkness is radiant in your light
I met this friend a week after the proceedings and at that time, she was still very bad in coping with the issue. I felt heartpain at seeing her and broke down while praying for her. I felt so helpless but I knew that the only thing I could do for her was to pray for her. Indeed, God answered our prayers and she was much better in a shorter time than expected. When I met up with her the following week, she was back to normal and could talk about him and the proceedings too. I was heartened to see that. I was also glad to realise that our friendship was not different even though we had lost touch over time.
God has planned a future for her and He has thus kept His word that He will take care of her.
When I think about the heavens, the moon and all the stars
I wonder what you ever saw in me
But you took me and you loved me
And you've given me a home
And now I praise your name eternally
God never lets me down
God's the only one who really understands my deepest thoughts and is there for me 24/7. He's really the "bestest friend" (as Tommy in Rugrats says) I have since He doesn't let me down or hurt me. I know I'm getting all religious-sounding here but these are my true thoughts realized through painful experiences with humans.
The essentiality of prayer
As a working person, I find it extremely useful to ask for God's help before I go to work. Since my first job as an education assistant, I've asked it to guide me in teaching the kids, especially the difficult ones. Even when I was doing a temporary job as a membership assistant in the back office of California Fitness, I didn't abandon this routine. I really needed Him to help me, as I'm not computer-savvy.
It goes without saying that I still do so now that I'm a full-time tutor. The effects are noticeable when I do and vice-versa. I had forgotten to do so for one of my lessons and I treated the secondary student as a primary student instead! On the contrary, I didn't blow my top and was calm within when a lesson with one of the primary students wasn't as smooth as usual.
Basically, prayer guides me in meeting the needs of the students, because that's really the main focus for me. I ask God to lead me as I follow, during the lesson. I ask Him to make me His instrument to them and offer up the lessons for His glory as well.
I can actually allow them to talk about their troubles instead of doing work and that's not a waste of time to me. It really improves their oral expression but more importantly, I don't believe in forcing them to do work when their minds are preoccupied with other things. They'll not absorb anything in the process and that'll REALLY be a waste of time. That's what prayer does for me.
It goes without saying that I still do so now that I'm a full-time tutor. The effects are noticeable when I do and vice-versa. I had forgotten to do so for one of my lessons and I treated the secondary student as a primary student instead! On the contrary, I didn't blow my top and was calm within when a lesson with one of the primary students wasn't as smooth as usual.
Basically, prayer guides me in meeting the needs of the students, because that's really the main focus for me. I ask God to lead me as I follow, during the lesson. I ask Him to make me His instrument to them and offer up the lessons for His glory as well.
I can actually allow them to talk about their troubles instead of doing work and that's not a waste of time to me. It really improves their oral expression but more importantly, I don't believe in forcing them to do work when their minds are preoccupied with other things. They'll not absorb anything in the process and that'll REALLY be a waste of time. That's what prayer does for me.
Satan's efforts
Evil forces may have been trying to thwart my efforts at spreading spiritual thoughts to others. I was typing out a reflection on God's goodness to me before a blackout occurred. However, God didn't abandon me even while Satan was trying to create havoc. His hand was guiding mine in the dark, towards the correct switch. If I had adjusted the wrong one, the main supply'd have been totally cut off.
Yes, I may sound superstitious but they have done such things before and I believe that they are unhappy with people who spread God to others. Whenever I type out such things, I can't send out my emails or the messages get deleted. Well, I am convicted that I have a reason to think this way but it's really my own opinion. So anyone out there, don't even think of disputing me because I know what I believe in. Period.
Yes, I may sound superstitious but they have done such things before and I believe that they are unhappy with people who spread God to others. Whenever I type out such things, I can't send out my emails or the messages get deleted. Well, I am convicted that I have a reason to think this way but it's really my own opinion. So anyone out there, don't even think of disputing me because I know what I believe in. Period.
More on the exorcism saga
Madam Amutha's son labelled the behaviour of the parishioners and priests as gangster-like. I don't think there's anything wrong with their behaviour if they were really trying to exorcise the demons in the lady. You must be fierce and very firm with the evil spirits so that they don't gain the upper hand. As he said, they are Hindus and don't know anything about exorcism. Of course they are not accustomed to such protocol.
The exorcism saga
Madam Valli, the protaganist of the Novena Church saga, insists that she was forcibly exorcised by the parishioners of that church and has brought the matter to court. The latest newspaper report shows some sketches of the incident that she had drawn as a form of therapy. The thing about it is that she has just contradicted her earlier testimonies and undermined her own case, if one reads the words in the sketches. She wrote that they said to her that it being "the spirit of the hungry ghost month", they "will know whether it is a male or female ghost".
As Catholics, the Hungry Ghost month is not on their agenda and the term "ghost" is not used. Instead, All Souls' Day is the Catholic version and even then, it is a day when Catholics remember their departed loved ones in prayer. They don't expect their departed loved ones to come back to earth as roaming spirits. They also use the terms "spirits" or "souls". If the jury or judge reads this, they will realise that Madam Valli is really trying to con the church. I hope they do.
As Catholics, the Hungry Ghost month is not on their agenda and the term "ghost" is not used. Instead, All Souls' Day is the Catholic version and even then, it is a day when Catholics remember their departed loved ones in prayer. They don't expect their departed loved ones to come back to earth as roaming spirits. They also use the terms "spirits" or "souls". If the jury or judge reads this, they will realise that Madam Valli is really trying to con the church. I hope they do.
charismatic - 31/8
-I actually missed being at charismatic and so I was looking forward to it. I had a reason to praise God for bringing me through the week. He had given me a good doctor who was really caring.
-I just started tearing and couldn't stop till the song ended, when we sang I Worship You Almighty God. Perhaps my yearning for God was far greater than I realised. It was so easy to get into the worship mood. Truly, when God reveals His glory, it will move you to tears.
-The prophesied Word was certainly the living truth for me, as God gave me His joy to sustain me in my pain and anxiety for mass on Saturday. "The joy of the Lord is my strength." My fears were also eased away with the command "not (to) be afraid". I had doubts as to whether I could be slain in the proper manner, since my leg was not good.
During intercessory session, my doubts were put to shame as I was slain in the correct manner. Uncle Bonny showed concern for my leg. I was touched, as he usually looks stern. He was anointed to let me rest in the Lord and God's power just overcame me with speed and immediacy, in the blink of an eye. I was able to get up on my own too.
-Two songs struck me. He Will Come and Save You was sung in a slower tempo, a first for me. Empower Me, on the contrary, was sung in a much faster tempo, as the final song. I couldn't clap along however, as I was used to the slow version. This song is also very special to me. I sang it with a person in mind and it became reflective to me.
-I owe God a testimony on my leg but I knew I wasn't ready to give it. Somehow, having passed my first time made it more natural for me.
-I just started tearing and couldn't stop till the song ended, when we sang I Worship You Almighty God. Perhaps my yearning for God was far greater than I realised. It was so easy to get into the worship mood. Truly, when God reveals His glory, it will move you to tears.
-The prophesied Word was certainly the living truth for me, as God gave me His joy to sustain me in my pain and anxiety for mass on Saturday. "The joy of the Lord is my strength." My fears were also eased away with the command "not (to) be afraid". I had doubts as to whether I could be slain in the proper manner, since my leg was not good.
During intercessory session, my doubts were put to shame as I was slain in the correct manner. Uncle Bonny showed concern for my leg. I was touched, as he usually looks stern. He was anointed to let me rest in the Lord and God's power just overcame me with speed and immediacy, in the blink of an eye. I was able to get up on my own too.
-Two songs struck me. He Will Come and Save You was sung in a slower tempo, a first for me. Empower Me, on the contrary, was sung in a much faster tempo, as the final song. I couldn't clap along however, as I was used to the slow version. This song is also very special to me. I sang it with a person in mind and it became reflective to me.
-I owe God a testimony on my leg but I knew I wasn't ready to give it. Somehow, having passed my first time made it more natural for me.
charismatic - 17/8
-Certain events led up to the session. I had a testimony to give to the Spirit and His spouse, our Lady. I was healed of my rather bad dry skin, and was overwhelmed by their loving power, in being healed of my food poisoning and asthma attack after a short time. My worship was full of gratitude, excitement and anticipation. I acknowledged God's great power while singing to Him.
-No one can give glory to God without His purifying Spirit in him first. I prayed for confidence and calmness in preparing for the testifying moment. He did grant it to me. I had a long rest in Him during intercessory session.
-The talk was on God's saving power in our illnesses. We must realise that only He, our Divine Healer, is in control of our life and not the doctors, who are humans. As long as we run to Him and surrender in trust to Him, we'll be granted peace and security, free in His loving sustenance. He is definitely real and alive. I believe He'll heal, in His time.
-Learnt more new songs like: You Are Called By Name & You Are Welcome.
-God's touch on me during intercessory session was beautifully special. It was a gentle and soft touch. That was a first.
-God's spirit made me sound normal and stable during the testimony, but after that, I yielded to my human feeling and was still reeling.
-No one can give glory to God without His purifying Spirit in him first. I prayed for confidence and calmness in preparing for the testifying moment. He did grant it to me. I had a long rest in Him during intercessory session.
-The talk was on God's saving power in our illnesses. We must realise that only He, our Divine Healer, is in control of our life and not the doctors, who are humans. As long as we run to Him and surrender in trust to Him, we'll be granted peace and security, free in His loving sustenance. He is definitely real and alive. I believe He'll heal, in His time.
-Learnt more new songs like: You Are Called By Name & You Are Welcome.
-God's touch on me during intercessory session was beautifully special. It was a gentle and soft touch. That was a first.
-God's spirit made me sound normal and stable during the testimony, but after that, I yielded to my human feeling and was still reeling.
charismatic - 3/8
-God prepared me so wholly for the session. I really had the strength and heart to give Him that couple of hours. He showed me His love and help prior to it. I had so much to praise and thank Him for. His angels of prayer were His instruments to me.
- The worship leader was Jason. It was a surprise. I thought he had left. He is a great instrument of the Lord. We prayed over him as a community. See, that's how much of a family our community is. I know God will protect him and his family from harm. I managed to speak to him after the session and he acknowledged me by name. That felt good. :)
-Immediately when I entered the chapel, I found myself walking faster and more naturally. The power of God was already manifesting itself on me for His glory. He showed Himself to me in the deep worship portion. He acknowledged my immediate need through Jason's invitation to come up for intercessory prayer. I certainly certainly felt His love this whole day and week. :)
-The songs, the songs! All my favourite songs were sung and some hit me right at the core of my heart. Awesome in This Place was actually the song I thought would be chosen for the session as I shared with Aunty Anna. God brought the lyrics to life for me prior to it. He's so awesome! The Steadfast Love of the Lord brought me to tears. It was the song that affirmed me of His gracious blessings when I decided to go into private tuition. I was sharing its lyrics with a friend yesterday too. My Greatest Love is You also broke me. God sees me as His greatest love and so I see Him as mine too. He's greater than any human love because He's always there and never lets me down. I Want To Sing expressed how I felt towards my God then. Joy of My Desire was seen in a new dimension. I really was able to worship Him " in spirit and in truth" then. He had prepared me for that time. I could never really sing the last line "There will never be a friend as dear to me as you" before but I can now because He is my greatest love. This was certainly a grand worship, as Jason said!
-Cassandra's talk was on A Christian Soldier. Strangely enough, I had thought of the shield of God to put on against the spiritual attacks of the devil earlier in the day. See, God had prepared me for the talk prior to it. It was a really good talk. :)
- The worship leader was Jason. It was a surprise. I thought he had left. He is a great instrument of the Lord. We prayed over him as a community. See, that's how much of a family our community is. I know God will protect him and his family from harm. I managed to speak to him after the session and he acknowledged me by name. That felt good. :)
-Immediately when I entered the chapel, I found myself walking faster and more naturally. The power of God was already manifesting itself on me for His glory. He showed Himself to me in the deep worship portion. He acknowledged my immediate need through Jason's invitation to come up for intercessory prayer. I certainly certainly felt His love this whole day and week. :)
-The songs, the songs! All my favourite songs were sung and some hit me right at the core of my heart. Awesome in This Place was actually the song I thought would be chosen for the session as I shared with Aunty Anna. God brought the lyrics to life for me prior to it. He's so awesome! The Steadfast Love of the Lord brought me to tears. It was the song that affirmed me of His gracious blessings when I decided to go into private tuition. I was sharing its lyrics with a friend yesterday too. My Greatest Love is You also broke me. God sees me as His greatest love and so I see Him as mine too. He's greater than any human love because He's always there and never lets me down. I Want To Sing expressed how I felt towards my God then. Joy of My Desire was seen in a new dimension. I really was able to worship Him " in spirit and in truth" then. He had prepared me for that time. I could never really sing the last line "There will never be a friend as dear to me as you" before but I can now because He is my greatest love. This was certainly a grand worship, as Jason said!
-Cassandra's talk was on A Christian Soldier. Strangely enough, I had thought of the shield of God to put on against the spiritual attacks of the devil earlier in the day. See, God had prepared me for the talk prior to it. It was a really good talk. :)
charismatic - 27/7
-God is our provider, indeed. He provided the worshippers, the solution to the logistical problem. He will provide my strength and health at tomorrow's performance. All I have to do is trust in His providence and lift my desires to Him.
-I learnt two great songs: My Love and My Light and Every Time.
-The Spirit leads my worship. Sometimes I just feel like moving. Today's male leader dances when he leads. That's beautiful as it's a dance to God.
-I believe Jason, another worship leader, is leaving very soon for his overseas studies. He said August. I will miss his leading. He's very dynamic too. However, I know God will watch over him and his family with protection and love. :)
-I learnt two great songs: My Love and My Light and Every Time.
-The Spirit leads my worship. Sometimes I just feel like moving. Today's male leader dances when he leads. That's beautiful as it's a dance to God.
-I believe Jason, another worship leader, is leaving very soon for his overseas studies. He said August. I will miss his leading. He's very dynamic too. However, I know God will watch over him and his family with protection and love. :)
Charismatic experiences
I shall present my thoughts about this topic in point form and include only highlights, so as not to be boringly tedious, especially for non-Christians.
-I look forward to every session because I can learn new praise and worship songs. I memorise the titles of those I like and try to download the tracks of these songs via the internet. Also, the songs are well-chosen as they are inspiring and melodious.
-The people are really really warm. They notice your absence the next time round when you've come only once before. They greet you when you enter. They make u feel cared for and welcomed. U feel like a family member. Note that I'm not from their parish and they know it.
-They respect my worship methods. Sometimes I stop clapping due to tired hands or choose not to sing, reflecting on the lyrics instead. I never feel ostracized because we understand that each one of us communicates with the Spirit differently. There are people who don't lift their hands or speak in tongues or dance during worship. No one is judged or condescended upon.
-Those of us who aren't in the service team are also invited to be involved in helping out. The canteen day was announced to all of us who wanted to help sell or cook. A prayer warriors team is open to those of us who want to receive prayer requests via sms in order to pray behind the scenes. It is a complement to the intercessory ministers at the weekly sessions.
-The Spirit is truly alive and awesome. I experienced the gift of knowledge twice from the same leader. God touches me so overwhelmingly and joyfully. His presence is strong and the rest He gives me is precious.
-I look forward to every session because I can learn new praise and worship songs. I memorise the titles of those I like and try to download the tracks of these songs via the internet. Also, the songs are well-chosen as they are inspiring and melodious.
-The people are really really warm. They notice your absence the next time round when you've come only once before. They greet you when you enter. They make u feel cared for and welcomed. U feel like a family member. Note that I'm not from their parish and they know it.
-They respect my worship methods. Sometimes I stop clapping due to tired hands or choose not to sing, reflecting on the lyrics instead. I never feel ostracized because we understand that each one of us communicates with the Spirit differently. There are people who don't lift their hands or speak in tongues or dance during worship. No one is judged or condescended upon.
-Those of us who aren't in the service team are also invited to be involved in helping out. The canteen day was announced to all of us who wanted to help sell or cook. A prayer warriors team is open to those of us who want to receive prayer requests via sms in order to pray behind the scenes. It is a complement to the intercessory ministers at the weekly sessions.
-The Spirit is truly alive and awesome. I experienced the gift of knowledge twice from the same leader. God touches me so overwhelmingly and joyfully. His presence is strong and the rest He gives me is precious.
One of my many spiritual retreats
We were asked to write out the lyrics of our favourite secular song as a group. Songs like Come What May from the movie Moulin Rouge and In the Beginning were chosen. Basically, the focus is on human relationships but without God in them. To make a relationship work, God has to be at the centre of it. It is not solely based on human effort because humans are imperfect and tempremental. True love defies feeling. It is a commitment to love unconditionally despite the feeling or lack thereof. In order to do this, God has to be present in it.
We were each given a book on reflections pertaining to life's situations. We learnt how to hunger for God and how He surpasses all forms of human love, how to plan life's journey with Him as the destination, amongst others. This book made up the core of our retreat's content.
This retreat was especially special to me and I had been looking forward to it for a while. There was a silent retreat catered for those who wanted it. I grabbed the chance to have a time of silence with God and the spiritual director He sent me. I just wrote out all that was on my mind and heart. Then I spoke about it, presenting all the queries that had been buried within me. All were patiently answered. It was a fast and furious session, with questions continually assailing my mind and being thrown out thereafter to my SD. To my shock and to the shock of those around, I spent a total of 8 hours.
It was a time well spent. I had all my doubts cleared. God made use of us to administer to each other and to draw us closer. He took our pliable hearts and filled them with Him. It was a good one because even after the retreat had ended, I brought with me the Word that as long as we remain in Him, we're safe and protected in His aura, from the world's forces. It was certainly a God-filled time and was so desirable that I had a little difficulty adapting to the mass activities after that.
We were each given a book on reflections pertaining to life's situations. We learnt how to hunger for God and how He surpasses all forms of human love, how to plan life's journey with Him as the destination, amongst others. This book made up the core of our retreat's content.
This retreat was especially special to me and I had been looking forward to it for a while. There was a silent retreat catered for those who wanted it. I grabbed the chance to have a time of silence with God and the spiritual director He sent me. I just wrote out all that was on my mind and heart. Then I spoke about it, presenting all the queries that had been buried within me. All were patiently answered. It was a fast and furious session, with questions continually assailing my mind and being thrown out thereafter to my SD. To my shock and to the shock of those around, I spent a total of 8 hours.
It was a time well spent. I had all my doubts cleared. God made use of us to administer to each other and to draw us closer. He took our pliable hearts and filled them with Him. It was a good one because even after the retreat had ended, I brought with me the Word that as long as we remain in Him, we're safe and protected in His aura, from the world's forces. It was certainly a God-filled time and was so desirable that I had a little difficulty adapting to the mass activities after that.
Ctk's charismatic session (5)
This session started off differently with God molding me to be His unworthy instrument to a friend who wanted to join me in Charismatic worship. Through the week, He had spoken to me and prepared my heart to be open to His guidings about this matter.
We met for dinner and I shared with her my preparation experience for the night's climax. She could see that I was very enthusiastic. It was extremely comfortable being with her, since I prefer two-people outings. We joked and teased each other, and I really had a chance to update her on my life, since we had not met for ages and it's not as free sharing, when being on a three-people outing.
Then we went for mass first. It was a deep worship experience for me. Her presence made it more powerful for me. Perhaps kindred spirits with a desire for greater intimacy towards our God make each other's time with God more potent. Aside from this, two of my favourite songs were sung at mass. Behold The Lamb was one of the older songs sung in my choir and when my friend was in there too. So it was a bond for us. So You Would Come was the communion hymn and somehow it affirmed my openness to be God's instrument to her.
After drinks, we went to the adoration room and surprisingly, I wanted to spend a longer time there as compared to other occasions. Then we went for Charismatic session. This time, the worship leader looked for first-timers to the session but my friend's not uncomfortable with that. There was another girl too. However, I think she felt uncomfortable with the session and left before the talk. Still, I admire her courage to have gone alone for it for her first time. I was with a friend for my first time there.
The songs we sang were mostly familiar. Again, I just let myself go during worship and was focused on only my God, like my friend was too. The talk was on God's love. Before deeper worship and intercessory prayer, the worship leader said two phrases that I really needed for healing and strength: The battle belongs to the Lord and Remain in Me as I remain in you. They assure me that He is in control of everything and when I fear, I run to Him and cling to Him.
As I made myself ready for praying over, I did feel my heart beating fast but I disregarded this fact and went up. Somehow God knew what I had been going through the whole week. I had been looking forward to this session and my heart was literally aching as if someone was pressing on it, from the start of the session. I was aching and yearning for my God to wholly heal me. Immediately when I was anointed by the intercessors, I just fell. I know that God knew that I wanted and needed to rest in Him. I told myself to let Him open my eyes because I wanted to rest in Him. It was a conscious effort and as a result, I was able to get up easily. I didn't feel so weak. Also, the ache in my heart just stopped and peace returned.
God continued to heal me through the tears that flowed freely down my face. I was also grateful beyond description at how He had allowed me to fall so quickly so as to rest in Him immediately. My only way of showing gratitude was to cry. Not even singing could express it. Testimonies flowed after worship and courage was given to the fearful in the process. God gave more than they had expected to the witnesses.
My friend wants to continue going for Charismatic and I'm glad to be God's instrument to her. It gives me abundant joy to know that. We shared with each other our experiences during the session and will go for the subsequent sessions together.
We met for dinner and I shared with her my preparation experience for the night's climax. She could see that I was very enthusiastic. It was extremely comfortable being with her, since I prefer two-people outings. We joked and teased each other, and I really had a chance to update her on my life, since we had not met for ages and it's not as free sharing, when being on a three-people outing.
Then we went for mass first. It was a deep worship experience for me. Her presence made it more powerful for me. Perhaps kindred spirits with a desire for greater intimacy towards our God make each other's time with God more potent. Aside from this, two of my favourite songs were sung at mass. Behold The Lamb was one of the older songs sung in my choir and when my friend was in there too. So it was a bond for us. So You Would Come was the communion hymn and somehow it affirmed my openness to be God's instrument to her.
After drinks, we went to the adoration room and surprisingly, I wanted to spend a longer time there as compared to other occasions. Then we went for Charismatic session. This time, the worship leader looked for first-timers to the session but my friend's not uncomfortable with that. There was another girl too. However, I think she felt uncomfortable with the session and left before the talk. Still, I admire her courage to have gone alone for it for her first time. I was with a friend for my first time there.
The songs we sang were mostly familiar. Again, I just let myself go during worship and was focused on only my God, like my friend was too. The talk was on God's love. Before deeper worship and intercessory prayer, the worship leader said two phrases that I really needed for healing and strength: The battle belongs to the Lord and Remain in Me as I remain in you. They assure me that He is in control of everything and when I fear, I run to Him and cling to Him.
As I made myself ready for praying over, I did feel my heart beating fast but I disregarded this fact and went up. Somehow God knew what I had been going through the whole week. I had been looking forward to this session and my heart was literally aching as if someone was pressing on it, from the start of the session. I was aching and yearning for my God to wholly heal me. Immediately when I was anointed by the intercessors, I just fell. I know that God knew that I wanted and needed to rest in Him. I told myself to let Him open my eyes because I wanted to rest in Him. It was a conscious effort and as a result, I was able to get up easily. I didn't feel so weak. Also, the ache in my heart just stopped and peace returned.
God continued to heal me through the tears that flowed freely down my face. I was also grateful beyond description at how He had allowed me to fall so quickly so as to rest in Him immediately. My only way of showing gratitude was to cry. Not even singing could express it. Testimonies flowed after worship and courage was given to the fearful in the process. God gave more than they had expected to the witnesses.
My friend wants to continue going for Charismatic and I'm glad to be God's instrument to her. It gives me abundant joy to know that. We shared with each other our experiences during the session and will go for the subsequent sessions together.
Ctk's charismatic session (4)
I went to the adoration room to prepare myself for the session and I saw the teaching co-ordinator there. I was heartened. I had always thought they aren't really into quiet forms of prayer.
As I went into the chapel, I saw a couple I know from my former choir. They were 'angels' to me because my other 'angels' weren't near me. The husband had brought his RCIA enquirer and her children for the experience. The couple was very warm and allowed me to sit between them so that I could talk to the wife. This was God's way of teaching me how to handle the task of bringing friends for the session, since I am doing so this week. I also got to know a Eurasian couple who had gone through a hiatus for 2 years as well.
The couple was clapping, lifting their hands and singing in worship to our God. This made me feel better. Even choir members do so. Also, I've always had a music rhythm problem and thus, my clapping isn't in time to the music. However, I felt comforted that I'm not alone in this. :) I decided to try something out. I stopped clapping along and I actually felt my hands itching to do so. Hence I'm fully into it now, so naturally. :) Of course, I resumed doing so.
As we went into worship, I Stand In Awe was sung and truly, it reflected my feelings then. God made me feel in awe of Him for how He had spoken to me and taught me His lessons and will during the day. I sang it with more awareness of His marvels than when I usually sing it.
The talk was on faith and Abraham's story of knowing that he was to be a father at 100 years old was illustrated. It also brought me to a greater consciousness of my faith in the Holy Spirit as I go up for praying over. The time for deeper worship leading up to intercessory prayer came. So You Would Come was sung and I was beyond all feeling when I sang it. I had used it to prepare myself at home earlier in the day. It was no mere coincidence again. God's marvels are so indescribable that you just can't feel with regards to it. The human heart can't embrace them because they're limitless in intensity.
As I went up to be prayed over, I was singing along to the song I Stand In Awe. I fell really quickly as I always do and this time, no one was inspired to push me down. I realised that I took a really long time to rest in the Spirit this time. God probably felt I needed to rest in Him. Unfortunately, I failed to let God open my eyes. The knowledge that I took a long time to rest caused me to try to open them on my own. As a result, I felt weak when I woke up. I couldn't participate in the worship when I returned to my seat. I had to sit down first.
A testimony was given and truly, God looks after His children even when we don't ask Him to. We take His protection for granted but He, in His mercy and love, disregards this.
As I went into the chapel, I saw a couple I know from my former choir. They were 'angels' to me because my other 'angels' weren't near me. The husband had brought his RCIA enquirer and her children for the experience. The couple was very warm and allowed me to sit between them so that I could talk to the wife. This was God's way of teaching me how to handle the task of bringing friends for the session, since I am doing so this week. I also got to know a Eurasian couple who had gone through a hiatus for 2 years as well.
The couple was clapping, lifting their hands and singing in worship to our God. This made me feel better. Even choir members do so. Also, I've always had a music rhythm problem and thus, my clapping isn't in time to the music. However, I felt comforted that I'm not alone in this. :) I decided to try something out. I stopped clapping along and I actually felt my hands itching to do so. Hence I'm fully into it now, so naturally. :) Of course, I resumed doing so.
As we went into worship, I Stand In Awe was sung and truly, it reflected my feelings then. God made me feel in awe of Him for how He had spoken to me and taught me His lessons and will during the day. I sang it with more awareness of His marvels than when I usually sing it.
The talk was on faith and Abraham's story of knowing that he was to be a father at 100 years old was illustrated. It also brought me to a greater consciousness of my faith in the Holy Spirit as I go up for praying over. The time for deeper worship leading up to intercessory prayer came. So You Would Come was sung and I was beyond all feeling when I sang it. I had used it to prepare myself at home earlier in the day. It was no mere coincidence again. God's marvels are so indescribable that you just can't feel with regards to it. The human heart can't embrace them because they're limitless in intensity.
As I went up to be prayed over, I was singing along to the song I Stand In Awe. I fell really quickly as I always do and this time, no one was inspired to push me down. I realised that I took a really long time to rest in the Spirit this time. God probably felt I needed to rest in Him. Unfortunately, I failed to let God open my eyes. The knowledge that I took a long time to rest caused me to try to open them on my own. As a result, I felt weak when I woke up. I couldn't participate in the worship when I returned to my seat. I had to sit down first.
A testimony was given and truly, God looks after His children even when we don't ask Him to. We take His protection for granted but He, in His mercy and love, disregards this.
Musings on Charismatic worship
I went out with an old friend and we realised that both of us are into the Charismatic way of praying. It was a surprise because she doesn't seem to be the kind.
She was introduced to it through our parish's LISS. I was introduced to it by someone. We spoke about our worship experiences and the gifts of the Spirit versus the fruits of the Spirit. We had different experiences over being slain, however.
I totally surrender to the Spirit when I'm prayed over and I am slain very quickly as a result. When I wake up, I feel His presence of peace and power. I know God's gracing me with this faith and trust. Somehow I am not privy to doubt. I admit that I did have such thoughts before but I believe my earlier spiritual attack has been dealt with for good. :)
As I mentioned in another entry, I listen to the hillsongs CDs very often and I was actually tempted at one point not to go for the upcoming Charismatic session. After all, the songs I sing at the session are hillsongs. However, I know that the atmosphere and praying over I go through at the session are what the CDs can't give to me. It's similar to the praying at home that can't replace the graces of being present at Mass.
Charismatic is another way of encountering my God. I still pray in the quiet form. I read Divine Mercy in my Soul and God Calling for my daily quiet time. All forms of prayer lead to our God, whether through outward praise, set prayers or through silent adoration. Without dispute though, the Mass is the greatest form of prayer for us Catholics. That should be our priority.
It has been a calming force in my life and I don't get so easily ruffled with people who may annoy me or who may be closed towards this form of prayer.
I am really glad I took the bold step to leave my church choir for some time and to join Ctk. I'm very grateful to the person who introduced Charismatic to me. He's my greatest 'angel'. Even though I've returned to my own church, this gem has never left my life. I may have taken a hiatus for 2 years but I'm back now and am proud to say that I am very enthusiastic about it. I don't care if I'm labelled a fanatic or whatever names people can think of.
It's so strange how I was so closed to it for 7 years but Ctk has broken this barrier so completely. Yep.
She was introduced to it through our parish's LISS. I was introduced to it by someone. We spoke about our worship experiences and the gifts of the Spirit versus the fruits of the Spirit. We had different experiences over being slain, however.
I totally surrender to the Spirit when I'm prayed over and I am slain very quickly as a result. When I wake up, I feel His presence of peace and power. I know God's gracing me with this faith and trust. Somehow I am not privy to doubt. I admit that I did have such thoughts before but I believe my earlier spiritual attack has been dealt with for good. :)
As I mentioned in another entry, I listen to the hillsongs CDs very often and I was actually tempted at one point not to go for the upcoming Charismatic session. After all, the songs I sing at the session are hillsongs. However, I know that the atmosphere and praying over I go through at the session are what the CDs can't give to me. It's similar to the praying at home that can't replace the graces of being present at Mass.
Charismatic is another way of encountering my God. I still pray in the quiet form. I read Divine Mercy in my Soul and God Calling for my daily quiet time. All forms of prayer lead to our God, whether through outward praise, set prayers or through silent adoration. Without dispute though, the Mass is the greatest form of prayer for us Catholics. That should be our priority.
It has been a calming force in my life and I don't get so easily ruffled with people who may annoy me or who may be closed towards this form of prayer.
I am really glad I took the bold step to leave my church choir for some time and to join Ctk. I'm very grateful to the person who introduced Charismatic to me. He's my greatest 'angel'. Even though I've returned to my own church, this gem has never left my life. I may have taken a hiatus for 2 years but I'm back now and am proud to say that I am very enthusiastic about it. I don't care if I'm labelled a fanatic or whatever names people can think of.
It's so strange how I was so closed to it for 7 years but Ctk has broken this barrier so completely. Yep.
Ctk's charismatic session (3)
This session was indeed deep and intense in worship, as I had hoped. I think praying in the adoration room beforehand makes a difference to my preparations for the session. It gives me a sense of calmness and peace. This was made evident when I entered the chapel and saw it filled with only patches of people.
I have this continual fear that only a few people will ultimately attend the session and this makes me feel extremely vulnerable. I seem to be in awe of the leaders to the extent of feeling fear towards them. I can't pinpoint a reason. I must tell myself that they are just like I am, in need of our God. I need to apply this to that "special occasion" too.
Anyway, the sense of peace pervaded my being even though there initially were a few people. True enough, more and more people streamed in and soon, I was 'covered'. My 2 'angels' came as well and the husband of one of the 'angels' asked for my name. I think he has been noticing my presence.
We started off with a praise medley and I just found myself clapping along so naturally. It's really God's grace that enables me to do so. The mood was infectious. A girl in a wheelchair was smiling compared to the previous session which saw her sullen. This family of four had the boy clapping along as compared to the previous session which saw him not doing anything. God was showering His power on us.
Worship was next and this is my favourite part, because music has a "special place in my heart". As I sang along, I realised that God always blesses my voice when I use it wholeheartedly for His honour, whether it is at Charismatic or at choir. I love learning the new songs introduced during this segment and I'm thankful to the worship team for choosing such empowering songs.
In Christ Alone was sang a second time, besides the time of the previous session. It is no mere coincidence that this was so, as I really needed it. My mind was totally saturated with problems. This new song Still was not another mere coincidence. I had borrowed Hillsong Ultimate Worship earlier on and this very song was in the CD. This song broke me and I teared like a child. My body was racked with sobs and I couldn't stop the tears from falling. It was a relief though because I know God was using this song to heal me. I let out my frustrations and fears as a result. With All I Am was another new song introduced and I'm so in love with it.
In fact, the songs I've been exposed to ever since I returned to Charismatic at Ctk have made a great impact on me, so much so that I bought 3 CDs of Hillsongs, since hillsongs are used during the sessions. I also found a Youtube video on With All I Am, which includes the lyrics.
The talk was enlightening and I finally know where homosexuality is condemned in the Bible. We went into deeper worship and again, the leader was inspired by God to invite those with specific needs to be prayed over. I went up to pray proxy for my usual intentions but I was more specific this time. I went up with a heart of hope in God and when I was 'slain', I decided to let God open my eyes rather than do so on my own. When I did 'wake up', I realised I wasn't weak and I could easily get up. Now I know what I have to do.
Testimonies were given and we ended off with a song to give praise to God. I've been empowered by God's Spirit and thus am so enthusiastic about Charismatic sessions. I look forward to future sessions where I can encounter Him in deep worship, healing and power. :)
I have this continual fear that only a few people will ultimately attend the session and this makes me feel extremely vulnerable. I seem to be in awe of the leaders to the extent of feeling fear towards them. I can't pinpoint a reason. I must tell myself that they are just like I am, in need of our God. I need to apply this to that "special occasion" too.
Anyway, the sense of peace pervaded my being even though there initially were a few people. True enough, more and more people streamed in and soon, I was 'covered'. My 2 'angels' came as well and the husband of one of the 'angels' asked for my name. I think he has been noticing my presence.
We started off with a praise medley and I just found myself clapping along so naturally. It's really God's grace that enables me to do so. The mood was infectious. A girl in a wheelchair was smiling compared to the previous session which saw her sullen. This family of four had the boy clapping along as compared to the previous session which saw him not doing anything. God was showering His power on us.
Worship was next and this is my favourite part, because music has a "special place in my heart". As I sang along, I realised that God always blesses my voice when I use it wholeheartedly for His honour, whether it is at Charismatic or at choir. I love learning the new songs introduced during this segment and I'm thankful to the worship team for choosing such empowering songs.
In Christ Alone was sang a second time, besides the time of the previous session. It is no mere coincidence that this was so, as I really needed it. My mind was totally saturated with problems. This new song Still was not another mere coincidence. I had borrowed Hillsong Ultimate Worship earlier on and this very song was in the CD. This song broke me and I teared like a child. My body was racked with sobs and I couldn't stop the tears from falling. It was a relief though because I know God was using this song to heal me. I let out my frustrations and fears as a result. With All I Am was another new song introduced and I'm so in love with it.
In fact, the songs I've been exposed to ever since I returned to Charismatic at Ctk have made a great impact on me, so much so that I bought 3 CDs of Hillsongs, since hillsongs are used during the sessions. I also found a Youtube video on With All I Am, which includes the lyrics.
The talk was enlightening and I finally know where homosexuality is condemned in the Bible. We went into deeper worship and again, the leader was inspired by God to invite those with specific needs to be prayed over. I went up to pray proxy for my usual intentions but I was more specific this time. I went up with a heart of hope in God and when I was 'slain', I decided to let God open my eyes rather than do so on my own. When I did 'wake up', I realised I wasn't weak and I could easily get up. Now I know what I have to do.
Testimonies were given and we ended off with a song to give praise to God. I've been empowered by God's Spirit and thus am so enthusiastic about Charismatic sessions. I look forward to future sessions where I can encounter Him in deep worship, healing and power. :)
Ctk's charismatic session (2)
I went for my second session and this time God blessed me so abundantly and evidently with His presence and graces. I didn't see my 'angel' and felt a little uncomfortable. So I sat at the back with this man instead. I didn't want to sit alone. I was anxious as to whether we were going to be the only 2 people there. Again, God allayed my fears.
My 'angel' and 'original angel' came in and others began streaming in. Even the man became an 'angel' to me with his intense singing, which put me at ease that I wasn't the only one doing so. People sat around me and I felt sheltered. It was a cosy feeling. I think I'll sit at the back for every session. :) I guess to be alone and exposed makes one feel uncomfortably vulnerable.
There were newcomers as well but some fit in rather well while others were uncomfortable and hid it via nervous laughter or silence. I understand their reactions because I was like them before.
We started praise and worship, and as we went into worship, I did it in a deep sense. When the Word was proclaimed, the quotes were messages to me personally. The talk was on Saving our Earth and I learnt some new facts about our God-bestowed planet. It certainly is our Christian duty to stop harming it with our self-centred habits.
We continued worship and the song Worthy is the Lamb stays with me even till now. I went up for praying over and this time, I thought that the intercessor pushed me down with his hands. I was grappling with this but this flew away when I knew that the time spent with eyes closed on the ground was the Spirit's time with me. I tried to open them but couldn't. That is the proof of the Spirit's presence and the more I thought about the pushing, the more I realised that the intercessor was merely being inspired by the Spirit to do so. When I go back after 'waking up', I always feel physically overwhelmed by His strength but I know that's God's own Spirit on me.
This time, I felt that I wanted to sit and sing to God in worship after my 'slaining'. Anyway, one of the worship leaders said to just do what is comfortable. So I didn't join the rest in standing while worshipping and instead of singing loudly, I sang softly to the God within me. When I was ready to stand, I did so.
The presence of God was so clearly felt not just by me but by others too. His graces spread through the chapel. We worshippers were visibly touched while the worship leader was gifted with knowledge as to the specific needs of some people. He told us to put our hands at the areas that needed healing and I did so for a few people in mind. I was privileged to have my needs spelt out rather obviously. That was the climactic proof of God's presence throughout the session for me. It gave me hope and faith in His power to bless and heal at the time He chooses.
It was a continuous flow of graces for the worship leader especially. I was really deep in worship, the deepest form of worship in all my worship moments. I even teared, something which I haven't done so during worship and at "special occasions" for a really long time. Testimonies were shared and then Worthy is the Lamb was sang to glorify God again.
Today's session is a continuation on the Earth and it's on the destruction aspect. Again, it is a sign that I must go for it. I was deliberating as to whether to go for it based on the original theme of the talk. I also want to lift up to God in His Holy Spirit, certain things which have happened this week, knowing that He will take care of them, as I worship Him with my whole heart and soul. If it's His will, I know the form of worship will be as deep as last week's. :)
My 'angel' and 'original angel' came in and others began streaming in. Even the man became an 'angel' to me with his intense singing, which put me at ease that I wasn't the only one doing so. People sat around me and I felt sheltered. It was a cosy feeling. I think I'll sit at the back for every session. :) I guess to be alone and exposed makes one feel uncomfortably vulnerable.
There were newcomers as well but some fit in rather well while others were uncomfortable and hid it via nervous laughter or silence. I understand their reactions because I was like them before.
We started praise and worship, and as we went into worship, I did it in a deep sense. When the Word was proclaimed, the quotes were messages to me personally. The talk was on Saving our Earth and I learnt some new facts about our God-bestowed planet. It certainly is our Christian duty to stop harming it with our self-centred habits.
We continued worship and the song Worthy is the Lamb stays with me even till now. I went up for praying over and this time, I thought that the intercessor pushed me down with his hands. I was grappling with this but this flew away when I knew that the time spent with eyes closed on the ground was the Spirit's time with me. I tried to open them but couldn't. That is the proof of the Spirit's presence and the more I thought about the pushing, the more I realised that the intercessor was merely being inspired by the Spirit to do so. When I go back after 'waking up', I always feel physically overwhelmed by His strength but I know that's God's own Spirit on me.
This time, I felt that I wanted to sit and sing to God in worship after my 'slaining'. Anyway, one of the worship leaders said to just do what is comfortable. So I didn't join the rest in standing while worshipping and instead of singing loudly, I sang softly to the God within me. When I was ready to stand, I did so.
The presence of God was so clearly felt not just by me but by others too. His graces spread through the chapel. We worshippers were visibly touched while the worship leader was gifted with knowledge as to the specific needs of some people. He told us to put our hands at the areas that needed healing and I did so for a few people in mind. I was privileged to have my needs spelt out rather obviously. That was the climactic proof of God's presence throughout the session for me. It gave me hope and faith in His power to bless and heal at the time He chooses.
It was a continuous flow of graces for the worship leader especially. I was really deep in worship, the deepest form of worship in all my worship moments. I even teared, something which I haven't done so during worship and at "special occasions" for a really long time. Testimonies were shared and then Worthy is the Lamb was sang to glorify God again.
Today's session is a continuation on the Earth and it's on the destruction aspect. Again, it is a sign that I must go for it. I was deliberating as to whether to go for it based on the original theme of the talk. I also want to lift up to God in His Holy Spirit, certain things which have happened this week, knowing that He will take care of them, as I worship Him with my whole heart and soul. If it's His will, I know the form of worship will be as deep as last week's. :)
Ctk's charismatic session
I mentioned in my previous entry that I had not gone for charismatic sessions for 2 years. I was undecided as to whether I should go for last week's session, and this was a dominant reason. I was feeling awkward at going for it after having "disappeared" for a couple of years. However, the theme of Praise and Worship was enticing. I wanted to find my ground on that form of prayer in my life once again, since charismatic is a life-changing experience for my spirituality.
I prayed for an answer as to whether I should go for it and God spoke so clearly during mass. The communion hymn was Here I Am To WORSHIP. Things just fell into place. I had wanted to go for mass at another parish nearer to where I was but decided to go back to my usual one for weekday masses. Thank God I chose that parish or else I wouldn't have obtained my answer.
Funnily enough, I felt a sense of peace upon entering the chapel just before the session. There were new faces amongst the facilitators but they were welcoming. When the welcoming part occurred, I was grateful that they didn't announce my name. I was there for God and my spirituality.
We started the praise segment and I just let myself go instead of letting my consciousness stifle my expression of praise to God. I guess the dvds of Don Moen helped me to be more comfortable in a live setting. I just did what I wanted that would pay homage to God while singing. I even clapped along, which I never did before!
The talk on the theme was enlightening and affirming. I learnt again the difference between praise and worship, as well as the different methods and the obstacles towards doing it properly. As we went into deeper worship, the song I heard at mass, which was God's answer to me to go for the session, was sung. I was awed. The worship leader also affirmed me for turning up for the session, in a general sense.
I went up to be prayed over and again, I just did it without letting my fears overwhelm me. I knew that it was a real experience and I was glad that this time, it counteracted the spiritual attack I had the last time. God's power was truly strong and the prayer intercessor even said," God bless."
Again, I let myself go for the worship segment and when testimony time came, I agreed wholeheartedly with what the leader said about smiling due to regular attendance at charismatic sessions. I even voluntarily joined the prayer warrior team.
I didn't regret taking that bold step to go and I will continue going for the sessions.
I prayed for an answer as to whether I should go for it and God spoke so clearly during mass. The communion hymn was Here I Am To WORSHIP. Things just fell into place. I had wanted to go for mass at another parish nearer to where I was but decided to go back to my usual one for weekday masses. Thank God I chose that parish or else I wouldn't have obtained my answer.
Funnily enough, I felt a sense of peace upon entering the chapel just before the session. There were new faces amongst the facilitators but they were welcoming. When the welcoming part occurred, I was grateful that they didn't announce my name. I was there for God and my spirituality.
We started the praise segment and I just let myself go instead of letting my consciousness stifle my expression of praise to God. I guess the dvds of Don Moen helped me to be more comfortable in a live setting. I just did what I wanted that would pay homage to God while singing. I even clapped along, which I never did before!
The talk on the theme was enlightening and affirming. I learnt again the difference between praise and worship, as well as the different methods and the obstacles towards doing it properly. As we went into deeper worship, the song I heard at mass, which was God's answer to me to go for the session, was sung. I was awed. The worship leader also affirmed me for turning up for the session, in a general sense.
I went up to be prayed over and again, I just did it without letting my fears overwhelm me. I knew that it was a real experience and I was glad that this time, it counteracted the spiritual attack I had the last time. God's power was truly strong and the prayer intercessor even said," God bless."
Again, I let myself go for the worship segment and when testimony time came, I agreed wholeheartedly with what the leader said about smiling due to regular attendance at charismatic sessions. I even voluntarily joined the prayer warrior team.
I didn't regret taking that bold step to go and I will continue going for the sessions.
Facing my fears
God has been amazingly enabling me to do exactly that.
I've gone back to singing for wedding masses and I try to accept whatever offers are given to me, in order to face my phobia of singing solo. I continue singing out after making a mistake at mass, instead of holding back out of fear. I don't stop singing when I'm the only one doing so at mass.
I've a difficult student and I go for the lesson with courage and God's assurance of His guidance, instead of giving in to the temptation to postpone the lesson so that I've more time to mentally prepare myself. I also gather courage to lecture my students if I really have to.
The most notable thing is that I went for a Charismatic session alone and after 2 years. I plucked up the courage to answer God's call to go for that particular week. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
The people were really warm and we remembered each other. I made a new friend who used to be from my parish. I tried not to be so conscious throughout the session. After all, everyone was really dwelling on God and not on others. However, I'll need to work harder on this when the "special occasion" comes.
I tried to disregard the rapid beats of my heart which always come before I go up for praying over. I know and believe that when I'm praying with the intercessors, it's the Holy Spirit present and He 'slains' me with his power. I'm not being pushed down by the intercessors, as what people think. I am aware of the difference. I know that what I experience at each praying over is real.
I also joined the prayer warrior team where the members receive smses of prayer requests.
I will try to resume going for the weekly sessions. I also hope to gather the courage to resume singing psalms for Saturday mass. As he told another psalmist, "The people out there will criticise your imperfect singing instead of understanding that it was your first attempt. That's life." How true. I will need to cultivate the humility to accept such criticism.
This paraphrased quote sums up this entry. " Fear is always present but courage is going on regardless of it."
I've gone back to singing for wedding masses and I try to accept whatever offers are given to me, in order to face my phobia of singing solo. I continue singing out after making a mistake at mass, instead of holding back out of fear. I don't stop singing when I'm the only one doing so at mass.
I've a difficult student and I go for the lesson with courage and God's assurance of His guidance, instead of giving in to the temptation to postpone the lesson so that I've more time to mentally prepare myself. I also gather courage to lecture my students if I really have to.
The most notable thing is that I went for a Charismatic session alone and after 2 years. I plucked up the courage to answer God's call to go for that particular week. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
The people were really warm and we remembered each other. I made a new friend who used to be from my parish. I tried not to be so conscious throughout the session. After all, everyone was really dwelling on God and not on others. However, I'll need to work harder on this when the "special occasion" comes.
I tried to disregard the rapid beats of my heart which always come before I go up for praying over. I know and believe that when I'm praying with the intercessors, it's the Holy Spirit present and He 'slains' me with his power. I'm not being pushed down by the intercessors, as what people think. I am aware of the difference. I know that what I experience at each praying over is real.
I also joined the prayer warrior team where the members receive smses of prayer requests.
I will try to resume going for the weekly sessions. I also hope to gather the courage to resume singing psalms for Saturday mass. As he told another psalmist, "The people out there will criticise your imperfect singing instead of understanding that it was your first attempt. That's life." How true. I will need to cultivate the humility to accept such criticism.
This paraphrased quote sums up this entry. " Fear is always present but courage is going on regardless of it."
Religious insensitivities
A few boys went for the thrill of asking an employee of a Muslim food stall for pork, knowing full well Muslims don't eat pork. They carried on doing so despite seeing the adverse reaction on the employee's face. They then put the episode on the Internet for all to see. They were definitely plain rude and failed to see the dire effect of their sadistic joke.
I'm so ashamed to admit that I live in Serangoon Gardens. To have such patrons in my district, belittling the peace and nostalgia the area holds for me, is certainly a more than unfortunate knowledge to behold.
I'm so ashamed to admit that I live in Serangoon Gardens. To have such patrons in my district, belittling the peace and nostalgia the area holds for me, is certainly a more than unfortunate knowledge to behold.
My gratitude list
I've many things to thank God for but one of the most precious things He has given me is second chances. Truly, PRECIOUS. I'm so precious to Him and to people that I've been truly blessed.
When you feel that you don't deserve any after having thrown the previous opportunities away, the second chances you are bestowed with become miracles.
I'm very grateful for the permission to return to my church choir. I missed it terribly but never prayed about or told anyone about this. God saw my unspoken desire and out of His merciful love, spoke to my conductor to ask me to return. Furthermore, God helped me to adapt to the changes when I went on a self-imposed probation period. Since I've rejoined, I treasure each time I am with the members, especially at major events. I guess my heart had never gone away from it despite my resignation.
I'm very privileged to receive this second chance. Somehow, I feel I'm more blessed than those who've never left the choir because I've learnt what's precious to me after having lost it. God has bestowed me with the privilege to find it again as well. This return is not exactly supported even till now but I've found a god-brother because of it. I've no regrets as a result and it's enough that I do get this understanding from at least one source.
I'm also grateful for the guys in there. They're more even-tempered. Their combined voices are really of such beauty to behold. I do agree with girls who feel that it's better to have guys as friends because of their temperament. Where age is concerned, the guys are better than the girls in temperament.
There is one other thing that I feel very loved for as well but that is to be kept within me. God knows what it is and that suffices for me.
When you feel that you don't deserve any after having thrown the previous opportunities away, the second chances you are bestowed with become miracles.
I'm very grateful for the permission to return to my church choir. I missed it terribly but never prayed about or told anyone about this. God saw my unspoken desire and out of His merciful love, spoke to my conductor to ask me to return. Furthermore, God helped me to adapt to the changes when I went on a self-imposed probation period. Since I've rejoined, I treasure each time I am with the members, especially at major events. I guess my heart had never gone away from it despite my resignation.
I'm very privileged to receive this second chance. Somehow, I feel I'm more blessed than those who've never left the choir because I've learnt what's precious to me after having lost it. God has bestowed me with the privilege to find it again as well. This return is not exactly supported even till now but I've found a god-brother because of it. I've no regrets as a result and it's enough that I do get this understanding from at least one source.
I'm also grateful for the guys in there. They're more even-tempered. Their combined voices are really of such beauty to behold. I do agree with girls who feel that it's better to have guys as friends because of their temperament. Where age is concerned, the guys are better than the girls in temperament.
There is one other thing that I feel very loved for as well but that is to be kept within me. God knows what it is and that suffices for me.
Keeping your eyes on God
I've acquired a realization on my spiritual journey towards the One who is our beginning and end. It is so very easy to forget Him when we get too engrossed in secular activities through excessive involvement. He's no more within our hearts because we've let these things overtake His place.
It takes a sense of awareness to gain this knowledge but this must be followed by an effort to get back to our closeness with Him, so that He regains His place in our lives once again.
It takes a sense of awareness to gain this knowledge but this must be followed by an effort to get back to our closeness with Him, so that He regains His place in our lives once again.
Prayer powerhouses
I was unwell but needed to run around and had an important task to execute later in the day. I could not afford to fall physically. I asked someone whom I think of first when I'm in need, to pray with me, as well as my best girlfriend. Throughout the day, I was at peace and in the secure knowledge that there were people praying for me.
It is a blissful feeling to have. Somehow, the prayers of best friends and those who are special are powerful. I could go about my day with inner strength from the love of those around me, united in God.
It is a blissful feeling to have. Somehow, the prayers of best friends and those who are special are powerful. I could go about my day with inner strength from the love of those around me, united in God.
Principle of faith
Catherine Lim, one of our local star writers, contributes verses to Today on a daily basis. There are two sections. Amuses is for limericks-cum-parodies and Muses is for more serious and thought-provoking issues like politics and society.
A recent poem from the Muses section explicates the workings of God to His human followers. It rings true with me since He plays a very important part in my life.
Says God: 'I don't mean to be petty
But an issue I must address
Why do you people come to me
Only when you're in great distress?
In misfortunes and catastrophes
But not in prosperity and wealth
When illness and death come calling
But not when you are in good health.
Even I have my sensitivities
I think you have to make amends
And not continue to believe
That I exist to serve your ends.'
I'm guilty of this and if I had to choose a metaphor to describe my perception of God, it would be a magician. I ask him for my heart's desires. However, my relationship with God has now graduated to one of friendship. He's the only friend who won't let you down. As long as it's a human, he or she will let you down. There's always a first time for it. He's the only one who truly understands your deepest and darkest feelings without mocking them.
Many a time, I do forget that He has feelings too. He was a human before. Even as God, He has unending love. Isn't that a feeling? Just as we receive from Him, we've to give to Him as well. We've to give Him our gratitude, praise, adoration, worship, reverence, love and all that He truly deserves.
A recent poem from the Muses section explicates the workings of God to His human followers. It rings true with me since He plays a very important part in my life.
Says God: 'I don't mean to be petty
But an issue I must address
Why do you people come to me
Only when you're in great distress?
In misfortunes and catastrophes
But not in prosperity and wealth
When illness and death come calling
But not when you are in good health.
Even I have my sensitivities
I think you have to make amends
And not continue to believe
That I exist to serve your ends.'
I'm guilty of this and if I had to choose a metaphor to describe my perception of God, it would be a magician. I ask him for my heart's desires. However, my relationship with God has now graduated to one of friendship. He's the only friend who won't let you down. As long as it's a human, he or she will let you down. There's always a first time for it. He's the only one who truly understands your deepest and darkest feelings without mocking them.
Many a time, I do forget that He has feelings too. He was a human before. Even as God, He has unending love. Isn't that a feeling? Just as we receive from Him, we've to give to Him as well. We've to give Him our gratitude, praise, adoration, worship, reverence, love and all that He truly deserves.
Hit by nostalgia
Father Angel, our usual priest for Divine Mercy mass at CTK Parish, wasn't in town so Father Johnson came to concelebrate it. He was more jovial and less serious than when he was still parish priest. He gave an outstanding homily and ended it off with a prayer for more faith in God. The homily really 'spoke' to the problems plaguing me within. He also told us some anecdotes close to the end of mass. I enjoyed that particular mass.
However, he also evoked a sense of nostalgia in me, as he was parish priest when I was serving in CTK. His presence brought me back to that memorable period. I met this couple whom I was with in Christus Dominus choir as well. We caught up with each other.
A few weeks ago, I met some of my ex-choirmates after their practice. It was good to see them again. They are still the people I knew though we've moved on in our individual lives. I'm back with my own church now, with a renewed sense of feeling for my former choir.
The 9 months I spent serving in CTK nevertheless have a special place in my heart and I still go back there for mass and sessions. I enjoy being with the people and cherish the friends I've made there.
Oh, the adoration room there is just superb. It has a curtain enclosing the Blessed Sacrament so that it feels that you're in 'the holiest of holy place'.
Thank you to all of you from CTK! You've made my time there regular even after I'm back with my own church!
However, he also evoked a sense of nostalgia in me, as he was parish priest when I was serving in CTK. His presence brought me back to that memorable period. I met this couple whom I was with in Christus Dominus choir as well. We caught up with each other.
A few weeks ago, I met some of my ex-choirmates after their practice. It was good to see them again. They are still the people I knew though we've moved on in our individual lives. I'm back with my own church now, with a renewed sense of feeling for my former choir.
The 9 months I spent serving in CTK nevertheless have a special place in my heart and I still go back there for mass and sessions. I enjoy being with the people and cherish the friends I've made there.
Oh, the adoration room there is just superb. It has a curtain enclosing the Blessed Sacrament so that it feels that you're in 'the holiest of holy place'.
Thank you to all of you from CTK! You've made my time there regular even after I'm back with my own church!
Prayer request
I went for the mass to pray in solidarity with the Sri Lankan refugees at St Ignatius's Catholic Church on 29th June., organized by the Jesuit Refugee Service. A video presentation as part of it evoked poignant thoughts and sentiments in me. Hence I send out this prayer request.
Please pray for the Sri Lankan refugees. They need true peace and justice within their country.
Children are recruited as soldiers, families become homeless, extreme poverty abounds. The civilians are caught in the crossfire between the government and the militant rebels. Their education is adversely affected. They become internally displaced in their own land.
Please pray for the Sri Lankan refugees. They need true peace and justice within their country.
Children are recruited as soldiers, families become homeless, extreme poverty abounds. The civilians are caught in the crossfire between the government and the militant rebels. Their education is adversely affected. They become internally displaced in their own land.
'Simple in virtue'
Empathy is a gift I am given but I've no way of providing solutions to problems, which's the more important need. Sometimes I feel helpless and feel the former is not as useful. However, God gave different gifts to different persons so that we could work in unity for good. A listening ear is also another gift to me and at certain points in time, these two gifts are beneficial to others.
Besides the gift to analyse feelings like a psychologist, I've been granted courage, with the inspiration of prayer by my retreat facilitator, to correct injustices and tell harsh truths that really benefit.
I had spent a huge amount of money on myself lately and some purchases were indulgences. However, I have this strange trait of not feeling a pinch when spending a lot on those around me. It gives me joy to treat those who need one. I treated these 2 juniors of mine for the second time recently.
This shows that even as adults, we are still growing, developing and learning more each day. All knowledge comes from God and He directs the molding of my character.
Besides the gift to analyse feelings like a psychologist, I've been granted courage, with the inspiration of prayer by my retreat facilitator, to correct injustices and tell harsh truths that really benefit.
I had spent a huge amount of money on myself lately and some purchases were indulgences. However, I have this strange trait of not feeling a pinch when spending a lot on those around me. It gives me joy to treat those who need one. I treated these 2 juniors of mine for the second time recently.
This shows that even as adults, we are still growing, developing and learning more each day. All knowledge comes from God and He directs the molding of my character.
God in my career
I stress the importance of God in my career. He has provided me with students and guided my lesson plans as well. When I have worries pertaining to it, He answers my prayers and helps me beyond my asking. Such is his love and graciousness towards me. He brought me through this hectic week and gave me adequate rest at the same time. Thank you Lord!
Prayer is really so important to my lessons. Without it, I know I'm doing things by my own strength and they come out inadequate. I overlooked it twice and felt guilty. I asked God for forgiveness and prayed immediately.
However, sometimes work gets dreary, as most adults would feel, and I wish I could go to Heaven sooner to be with God and the angels, where there is only praise, love, peace, comfort and joy. The thought stops here though because this career is really a vocation from Him on this earth and He has accompanied me on this every step of the way. :)
Prayer is really so important to my lessons. Without it, I know I'm doing things by my own strength and they come out inadequate. I overlooked it twice and felt guilty. I asked God for forgiveness and prayed immediately.
However, sometimes work gets dreary, as most adults would feel, and I wish I could go to Heaven sooner to be with God and the angels, where there is only praise, love, peace, comfort and joy. The thought stops here though because this career is really a vocation from Him on this earth and He has accompanied me on this every step of the way. :)
Detachment from materialism
The homily during mass was on not hoarding earthly goods as our treasure. I'm paraphrasing here. I agree with Father. I was glad that he preached this topic yet again since we do need constant reminders.
I notice that youths who haven't got the chance to work for their own money and come from rich families make up some of the culprits. They take it for granted that their parents will always give them enough money for all their needs. With this attitude in mind, they spend the money frivolously on things they don't need but want. They think that with a lifestyle consisting of designer goods, expensive meals and branded makeup, they will be able to seem more attractive and make more friends. Such a naive way of thinking this is! These teenagers should experience what it is like to have to scrimp for meals and expenses! It's their parents' hard-earned money they're spending really!
Spendthrift working adults are also culprits. In the process of pursuing such unnecessary luxuries like beauty treatments, frequent getaways and sexy lingerie, they end up with credit card debts which they cannot pay off. It is really just "a piece of plastic" and the credit limit extended to them is really borrowed money which they have to pay back with interest from their own account eventually. It just encourages more spending.
A credit card in itself is really unnecessary and I'm living happily without one by the way. Yes, this group of people spend their own money and it's their right to do what they want with their income but I find the incurring of debts foolish.
Parents who spoil their children by buying whatever they desire are also culprits. They take it as a way of loving their darlings but it's really silly indulgence towards them. Do the kids need so many Barbie Dolls and Transformer Robots? Why not use the money saved to buy books, which have so many more valuable benefits lasting a lifetime, for them?
Retirees spend money too BUT theyARE justified in doing so. They've worked so hard for at least 35 years and now that they've time to rest on their laurels, they use their accumulated savings to give themselves comfort. Is that wrong? Moreover, their age is associated with limited health and before they become immobile, why not take the chance to travel, for instance?
Obviously, these are but subjective views of mine. There are people who are outside these categories typified here and kudos to them!
Father put a spiritual dimension to this topic, as his role requires. When we as Christians put our hearts in these material goods, they become our hindrance to entering Heaven. I'm paraphrasing again. How can we hanker after worldly riches and God at the same time? We are supposed to let go of them before entering our true home. Our minds are to be occupied only with meeting our Master and worshipping Him unceasingly, or else it'll be unfair to Him and our souls which were made for Him.
I envy the Seraphs who are always at His throne just praising Him without end. I wish I could do so too soon...
I notice that youths who haven't got the chance to work for their own money and come from rich families make up some of the culprits. They take it for granted that their parents will always give them enough money for all their needs. With this attitude in mind, they spend the money frivolously on things they don't need but want. They think that with a lifestyle consisting of designer goods, expensive meals and branded makeup, they will be able to seem more attractive and make more friends. Such a naive way of thinking this is! These teenagers should experience what it is like to have to scrimp for meals and expenses! It's their parents' hard-earned money they're spending really!
Spendthrift working adults are also culprits. In the process of pursuing such unnecessary luxuries like beauty treatments, frequent getaways and sexy lingerie, they end up with credit card debts which they cannot pay off. It is really just "a piece of plastic" and the credit limit extended to them is really borrowed money which they have to pay back with interest from their own account eventually. It just encourages more spending.
A credit card in itself is really unnecessary and I'm living happily without one by the way. Yes, this group of people spend their own money and it's their right to do what they want with their income but I find the incurring of debts foolish.
Parents who spoil their children by buying whatever they desire are also culprits. They take it as a way of loving their darlings but it's really silly indulgence towards them. Do the kids need so many Barbie Dolls and Transformer Robots? Why not use the money saved to buy books, which have so many more valuable benefits lasting a lifetime, for them?
Retirees spend money too BUT theyARE justified in doing so. They've worked so hard for at least 35 years and now that they've time to rest on their laurels, they use their accumulated savings to give themselves comfort. Is that wrong? Moreover, their age is associated with limited health and before they become immobile, why not take the chance to travel, for instance?
Obviously, these are but subjective views of mine. There are people who are outside these categories typified here and kudos to them!
Father put a spiritual dimension to this topic, as his role requires. When we as Christians put our hearts in these material goods, they become our hindrance to entering Heaven. I'm paraphrasing again. How can we hanker after worldly riches and God at the same time? We are supposed to let go of them before entering our true home. Our minds are to be occupied only with meeting our Master and worshipping Him unceasingly, or else it'll be unfair to Him and our souls which were made for Him.
I envy the Seraphs who are always at His throne just praising Him without end. I wish I could do so too soon...
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Humility vs pride
Remember I mentioned these two concepts in a previous entry?
I was humbled again through a change in position due to my height. *blergh* I was placed at the back near the microphone but taller people were blocking me. Also, my production of voice was inadequate. I guess it wasn't my best because I was unwell and the best I gave wasn't my usual. So I got switched to the front but I'm fine with it, really.
I'm standing next to my section leader so that she can signal to me if I'm going off-pitch. Also, I get to listen to more singers from the other sections and see the cues from the accompanist better. I'm standing behind my buddy too.
Today however, I was elevated when my name was mentioned as the first of those who care for others.
It is true. I'm greatly loved and I'm blessed with the spirit of giving too. However, lately, I've been emotionally exhausted of doing so. I've come to the conclusion that where there're humans, there is 'that' as well.
I was humbled again through a change in position due to my height. *blergh* I was placed at the back near the microphone but taller people were blocking me. Also, my production of voice was inadequate. I guess it wasn't my best because I was unwell and the best I gave wasn't my usual. So I got switched to the front but I'm fine with it, really.
I'm standing next to my section leader so that she can signal to me if I'm going off-pitch. Also, I get to listen to more singers from the other sections and see the cues from the accompanist better. I'm standing behind my buddy too.
Today however, I was elevated when my name was mentioned as the first of those who care for others.
It is true. I'm greatly loved and I'm blessed with the spirit of giving too. However, lately, I've been emotionally exhausted of doing so. I've come to the conclusion that where there're humans, there is 'that' as well.
Abrupt conversations and undeserved recognition
My lessons were cancelled since it was Deepavali today. I had the mood to go out with someone but almost every call I made was interrupted while we were conversing and one hasn't been replied to even till now.
In the midst of it all, I realised that perhaps God wants me to be with myself, to spend some personal time.
I've had accolades bestowed upon me in terms of my singing. I truly think someone else deserves the label put upon me. I am aware though that God has been very generous with me, with this gift of voice to me.
How can I say thanks for the things you has done for me?
Things so undeserved yet you give to prove your love for me.
The voices of a million angels cannot express my gratitude
All that I am and ever hope to be, I owe it all to thee.
To God be the glory for the things He has done!
I was asked by my section leader to go help another choir sing. Of course, I'm not the only one going. However what is even more of an impact is the recognition placed upon my voice by my conductor.
We were rearranging our positions for mass due to the new clavinova and he wanted 8 "most experienced and not sharp" singers to be near the microphones. I expected my section leader to be one of them but he chose me. I am flattered but more abashed. I've a sharp tone.
My friend said I'm given a chance to bring out my potential. I feel pressure as I've to check my singing even more now, so that I can blend with the rest of the quartet members, especially the sop, since she holds the melody. Moreover, her voice's very round. My sharpness will spoil it.
The good thing is that my section leader is in front of me and so I can turn to her for help. Also, I'm directly in front of the speaker so I can hear the music clearly.
This second incident is really strange because I felt I was becoming proud at mass and prayed for humility to counter it. God gave it to me because I went off pitch for the communion hymn. I could hear it myself and that's even worse. Then now God elevates me. Oh well. Maybe I should be a grateful recipient of the gifts God wants to give me instead of questioning why He wants to give.
In the midst of it all, I realised that perhaps God wants me to be with myself, to spend some personal time.
I've had accolades bestowed upon me in terms of my singing. I truly think someone else deserves the label put upon me. I am aware though that God has been very generous with me, with this gift of voice to me.
How can I say thanks for the things you has done for me?
Things so undeserved yet you give to prove your love for me.
The voices of a million angels cannot express my gratitude
All that I am and ever hope to be, I owe it all to thee.
To God be the glory for the things He has done!
I was asked by my section leader to go help another choir sing. Of course, I'm not the only one going. However what is even more of an impact is the recognition placed upon my voice by my conductor.
We were rearranging our positions for mass due to the new clavinova and he wanted 8 "most experienced and not sharp" singers to be near the microphones. I expected my section leader to be one of them but he chose me. I am flattered but more abashed. I've a sharp tone.
My friend said I'm given a chance to bring out my potential. I feel pressure as I've to check my singing even more now, so that I can blend with the rest of the quartet members, especially the sop, since she holds the melody. Moreover, her voice's very round. My sharpness will spoil it.
The good thing is that my section leader is in front of me and so I can turn to her for help. Also, I'm directly in front of the speaker so I can hear the music clearly.
This second incident is really strange because I felt I was becoming proud at mass and prayed for humility to counter it. God gave it to me because I went off pitch for the communion hymn. I could hear it myself and that's even worse. Then now God elevates me. Oh well. Maybe I should be a grateful recipient of the gifts God wants to give me instead of questioning why He wants to give.
Only unto God we trust
'You must know even when you cannot see.... You must rely on Me alone. Look to no other arm; look for no other help. Trust in the Spirit Forces of the Unseen, not in those you see. Trust and fear not.'
This is an entry from God Calling and it was a very apt one.
I was getting paranoid over my parents' safety as they went on their trip. I called 2 friends to confide my fears in but as I was doing so, a thought came to me. "Say the rosary, trust in God."
I knew that I could not trust humans but God. He's in control of every single thing and I cannot replace Him with my human friends. It is not fair to Him. I must trust that my parents are safe in His protection even when I don't know for sure yet. So I said an extra decade to ask for forgiveness for putting humans above Him.
True enough, my dad has been calling me daily since they left. There have been no hiccups so far. Thank God. He is with them. I should not have doubted and been scared.
They have gone to Vienna and Hungary and are now in Poland. They went to the Auschwitz camp where the Jews were exterminated during WWI. It is a place where there are still ghosts of the past lingering in terms of sadness and history. I think it will evoke negative emotions for visitors. They had to wake up at 5.30am to leave at 6.45am. Wow, that's so darn early! :S
This is an entry from God Calling and it was a very apt one.
I was getting paranoid over my parents' safety as they went on their trip. I called 2 friends to confide my fears in but as I was doing so, a thought came to me. "Say the rosary, trust in God."
I knew that I could not trust humans but God. He's in control of every single thing and I cannot replace Him with my human friends. It is not fair to Him. I must trust that my parents are safe in His protection even when I don't know for sure yet. So I said an extra decade to ask for forgiveness for putting humans above Him.
True enough, my dad has been calling me daily since they left. There have been no hiccups so far. Thank God. He is with them. I should not have doubted and been scared.
They have gone to Vienna and Hungary and are now in Poland. They went to the Auschwitz camp where the Jews were exterminated during WWI. It is a place where there are still ghosts of the past lingering in terms of sadness and history. I think it will evoke negative emotions for visitors. They had to wake up at 5.30am to leave at 6.45am. Wow, that's so darn early! :S
Loving Thyself
This was part of a homily at sunset mass over the weekend and here's my take on it.
To love thyself, as Father Gerard preached, is to do so in a wholesome way. I think what he meant is not to practise self-indulgence. The most apt example is to use the 7 Deadly Sins. Sloth, gluttony and lust are the 3 most suitable ones out of all. When we eat too much, laze too much and give in to our sexual desires too much, that's not loving ourselves. We're overstepping our boundaries.
To add on to this topic, I feel that when we love others at the expense of selves, that's giving away our love and opening ourselves to others. We're giving ourselves an opportunity to let people into our lives and hearts. That's also loving ourselves, is it not?
When people ask us to do things to please themselves, we agree out of friendship but sometimes, we've to draw a line at this. It's one thing to love others at our expense but it's another to give in to peer pressure and deprive ourselves of personal time when we need it. By giving in to pleasing others, we're not loving ourselves enough to give ourselves rest.
To love thyself, as Father Gerard preached, is to do so in a wholesome way. I think what he meant is not to practise self-indulgence. The most apt example is to use the 7 Deadly Sins. Sloth, gluttony and lust are the 3 most suitable ones out of all. When we eat too much, laze too much and give in to our sexual desires too much, that's not loving ourselves. We're overstepping our boundaries.
To add on to this topic, I feel that when we love others at the expense of selves, that's giving away our love and opening ourselves to others. We're giving ourselves an opportunity to let people into our lives and hearts. That's also loving ourselves, is it not?
When people ask us to do things to please themselves, we agree out of friendship but sometimes, we've to draw a line at this. It's one thing to love others at our expense but it's another to give in to peer pressure and deprive ourselves of personal time when we need it. By giving in to pleasing others, we're not loving ourselves enough to give ourselves rest.
The composer of our lives' music - an allegorical parable
When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and
discovered that the child was missing. Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage. In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard, innocently picking out Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.
At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing." Then, leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child, and he added a running obbligato.
Together, the old master and the young novice transformed what could have been a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience. The audience was so mesmerized that they couldn't recall what else the great master played, only the classic Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.
Perhaps that's the way it is with God. What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy. We try our best, but the results aren't always graceful flowing music. However, with the hand of the Master, our life's work can truly be beautiful. The next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully. You may hear the voice of the Master, whispering in your ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing."
May you feel His arms around you and know that His hands are there, helping you turn your feeble attempts into true masterpieces. Remember, God doesn't seem to call the equipped, rather, He equips the 'called'.
Life is more accurately measured by the lives you touch than by the things you acquire.
discovered that the child was missing. Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage. In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard, innocently picking out Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.
At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing." Then, leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child, and he added a running obbligato.
Together, the old master and the young novice transformed what could have been a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience. The audience was so mesmerized that they couldn't recall what else the great master played, only the classic Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.
Perhaps that's the way it is with God. What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy. We try our best, but the results aren't always graceful flowing music. However, with the hand of the Master, our life's work can truly be beautiful. The next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully. You may hear the voice of the Master, whispering in your ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing."
May you feel His arms around you and know that His hands are there, helping you turn your feeble attempts into true masterpieces. Remember, God doesn't seem to call the equipped, rather, He equips the 'called'.
Life is more accurately measured by the lives you touch than by the things you acquire.
Talking to God with a Deck of Cards
A young soldier was alone in his bunkhouse one Sunday morning over in Afghanistan. It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't made a noise. He knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week. As he sat there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk. Just then an army sergeant came in and said, "Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?"
The soldier replied, "I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord."
The sergeant said, "Looks like you're going to play cards."
The soldier said, "No sir, you see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country, I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards."
The sergeant asked in disbelief, "How will you do that?"
"You see the Ace, sergeant, it reminds that there is only one God.
The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments.
The Three represents the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
The Five is for the five virgins, there were ten, but only five of them were glorified.
 The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.
The Seven is for the day God rested after working the six days.
The Eight is for the family of Noah, his wife, their three sons and their wives. God saved these eight people from the flood that destroyed the earth for the first time.
The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.
The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.
The Jack is a reminder of Satan. One of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal lake of fire.
The Queen stands for the bride of Christ, which is called His church, or body of believers that wait for his return.
The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.
When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.
There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week, 52 weeks in a year.
The four suits represent the four seasons: spring, summer, fall and winter.
Each suit has thirteen cards; there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.
So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for."
The sergeant just stood there and after a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, "Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?"
The soldier replied, "I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord."
The sergeant said, "Looks like you're going to play cards."
The soldier said, "No sir, you see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country, I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards."
The sergeant asked in disbelief, "How will you do that?"
"You see the Ace, sergeant, it reminds that there is only one God.
The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments.
The Three represents the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
The Five is for the five virgins, there were ten, but only five of them were glorified.
 The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.
The Seven is for the day God rested after working the six days.
The Eight is for the family of Noah, his wife, their three sons and their wives. God saved these eight people from the flood that destroyed the earth for the first time.
The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.
The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.
The Jack is a reminder of Satan. One of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal lake of fire.
The Queen stands for the bride of Christ, which is called His church, or body of believers that wait for his return.
The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.
When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.
There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week, 52 weeks in a year.
The four suits represent the four seasons: spring, summer, fall and winter.
Each suit has thirteen cards; there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.
So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for."
The sergeant just stood there and after a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, "Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?"
A different version of the story "Don't Quit"
"I Would not Quit" He Said
One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality...I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God," I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me... "Look around," He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes," I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor and yet nothing came from the bamboo seed but I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year, the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful and again, nothing came from the bamboo seed but I did not quit on the bamboo. He said, "In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed but I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. "I would not quit," He said. "Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern, it was seemingly small and insignificant... but just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle," He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots?" "I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you." "Don't compare yourself to others," He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern and yet they both make the forest beautiful." "Your time will come," God said to me. "You will rise high!"
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes," He said. "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality...I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God," I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me... "Look around," He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes," I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor and yet nothing came from the bamboo seed but I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year, the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful and again, nothing came from the bamboo seed but I did not quit on the bamboo. He said, "In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed but I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. "I would not quit," He said. "Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern, it was seemingly small and insignificant... but just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle," He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots?" "I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you." "Don't compare yourself to others," He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern and yet they both make the forest beautiful." "Your time will come," God said to me. "You will rise high!"
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes," He said. "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
Be different to calm the storms raging within.
Be a Rebel For a Good Cause
A friend of mine, at the end of a retreat, offered a provocative reflection that intrigued and inspired me. After looking intensively at her inner experience for nine days of meditation and seeing many of her life choices in a brand new light, she commented, "If you really want to be a rebel, practice kindness."
There could be many wonderful extrapolations: "If you really want to be outrageous, be ethical." "If you want to go against the grain, be kindhearted." "If you want to live on your own terms, breaking out from expectation and external demands, practice love." "To be free, to be different, to be bold, be compassionate."
My friend is an independent thinker, a person who likes to make her own decisions and set her own goals. She likes to know what options she has before her, and to be able to choose the one that is individual, distinctive, noncomformist. When she can really be herself, and not assume a facade in order to please people or fit in or meet their expectations, she is happy. I think she was absolutely right about kindness and rebellion.
The world may tell us to grab as much as we want, and we might think that the audacity of rebelliousness is to grab even more with impunity, but how about being really radical and questioning how much we need? Conventional wisdom may be that retribution displays strength and can summarily bring an end to conflicts, but how about taking a leap and challenging ourselves to a whole new meaning of resolution based on mutuality and caring?
-Beliefnet Daily Inspirations
A friend of mine, at the end of a retreat, offered a provocative reflection that intrigued and inspired me. After looking intensively at her inner experience for nine days of meditation and seeing many of her life choices in a brand new light, she commented, "If you really want to be a rebel, practice kindness."
There could be many wonderful extrapolations: "If you really want to be outrageous, be ethical." "If you want to go against the grain, be kindhearted." "If you want to live on your own terms, breaking out from expectation and external demands, practice love." "To be free, to be different, to be bold, be compassionate."
My friend is an independent thinker, a person who likes to make her own decisions and set her own goals. She likes to know what options she has before her, and to be able to choose the one that is individual, distinctive, noncomformist. When she can really be herself, and not assume a facade in order to please people or fit in or meet their expectations, she is happy. I think she was absolutely right about kindness and rebellion.
The world may tell us to grab as much as we want, and we might think that the audacity of rebelliousness is to grab even more with impunity, but how about being really radical and questioning how much we need? Conventional wisdom may be that retribution displays strength and can summarily bring an end to conflicts, but how about taking a leap and challenging ourselves to a whole new meaning of resolution based on mutuality and caring?
-Beliefnet Daily Inspirations
Peace in the service of God
"The Peace is the work of righteousness living the right life, living with Me. Assurance is the calm born of a deep certainty in Me, in My Promises, in my Power to save and keep."
This quote from an entry of God Calling affirmed my feelings about the 3 singing performances I had at the end of last month. Oh I wasn't flawless in my production but peace and being able to laugh at my mistakes reigned within me. I took them well when I got negative feedback, unlike before. When you really decide to do it for God and others, that's the result. In fact, I did the worst thing possible by falling off the stage but I recovered myself to catch up with the rest. I smiled my way through even though I believe I wasn't unnoticed. I put in more effort subsequently to make up for that boo-boo. That's proper stage etiquette.
God has been gracious to me yet again. He gave me more strength and sustenance than I could ask for. Praise to Him. He has taught me to invoke Him in everything and has walked with me through it all.
This quote from an entry of God Calling affirmed my feelings about the 3 singing performances I had at the end of last month. Oh I wasn't flawless in my production but peace and being able to laugh at my mistakes reigned within me. I took them well when I got negative feedback, unlike before. When you really decide to do it for God and others, that's the result. In fact, I did the worst thing possible by falling off the stage but I recovered myself to catch up with the rest. I smiled my way through even though I believe I wasn't unnoticed. I put in more effort subsequently to make up for that boo-boo. That's proper stage etiquette.
God has been gracious to me yet again. He gave me more strength and sustenance than I could ask for. Praise to Him. He has taught me to invoke Him in everything and has walked with me through it all.
Impulsive!
Impulse can lead to regret because we don't get second chances everyday. There was someone who made an unjustifiable decision based on emotions. I believe she is not at peace over it.
I had made a similar decision but I was given a second chance. I'm not worthy to write off the fact that she won't get a second chance because God could have chosen not to give it to me. I have this feeling that she won't though, from the human viewpoint at least.
Sometimes God gives us trials to help us learn some lessons and to appreciate His gifts to us. He gives us second chances too. It seems to me that she and her supporters don't cherish them enough, based on the decision she made. However, His unfathomable mercy may just give her a second chance in this matter, as He did to me.
I had made a similar decision but I was given a second chance. I'm not worthy to write off the fact that she won't get a second chance because God could have chosen not to give it to me. I have this feeling that she won't though, from the human viewpoint at least.
Sometimes God gives us trials to help us learn some lessons and to appreciate His gifts to us. He gives us second chances too. It seems to me that she and her supporters don't cherish them enough, based on the decision she made. However, His unfathomable mercy may just give her a second chance in this matter, as He did to me.
My yearning for Charismatic
I haven't been to Charismatic for close to two months, due to my leg. I still spend time with God on a daily basis and sing to Him but it's not the same. The atmosphere of worship and praise is irreplaceable.
I look forward to a complete recovery and know I owe God a testimony for that. Then will I be able to worship Him in all fullness. All I can do now is to ask my fellow sister-in-Christ to worship for me, since she goes there weekly. She sent me an email, which was sweet. :)
When I was singing My Tribute at mass on Saturday, I was inspired by the Spirit to lift my hand but I had to refrain because it was a choral setting. I am not daunted though because God knew my desire.
I thank God for sustaining and blessing my voice in service to Him. I know that all credit goes back to Him for my recent wedding masses. I haven't been taking very good care of my voice but He still uses it for His glory. All honour and praise to the One who gave me this voice in the first place!
Actually, Charismatic is the secret to my improved voice. I can sing better for wedding masses now. :)
I look forward to a complete recovery and know I owe God a testimony for that. Then will I be able to worship Him in all fullness. All I can do now is to ask my fellow sister-in-Christ to worship for me, since she goes there weekly. She sent me an email, which was sweet. :)
When I was singing My Tribute at mass on Saturday, I was inspired by the Spirit to lift my hand but I had to refrain because it was a choral setting. I am not daunted though because God knew my desire.
I thank God for sustaining and blessing my voice in service to Him. I know that all credit goes back to Him for my recent wedding masses. I haven't been taking very good care of my voice but He still uses it for His glory. All honour and praise to the One who gave me this voice in the first place!
Actually, Charismatic is the secret to my improved voice. I can sing better for wedding masses now. :)
Back to charismatic finally!
I've not been going for charismatic for 3 months due to my arthritis and though it is not completely fine yet, I decided to go in order to spiritually prepare myself for my upcoming concert and pray for my choir as well. While in the adoration room, I felt a sense of excitement towards the session. :)
I received a very loving welcome from Aunty Anna who held my hand and walked with me all the way to my seat, asking after me all the while. I was not made to feel forgotten or irritating with her assurance that I was kept in prayer. Then In Christ Alone was practiced and I was struck by the fact that there was a message within for me. Still was played in the background instead of At The Cross. It was a surprising change but I felt good listening to it. "Be still and know that I am God" was the message that came to me then.
Sharon came and it was good that she did. She was thinking of me too. :) We exchanged phone numbers. Then we started the session. I felt I was naturally where I was. I didn't feel out of place even though I had been absent for 3 months, unlike when I felt it in choir after having left for a while.
You Are My Love and My Light was a song that spoke out what I had been experiencing through this period of time. "You are my hope in the night." I felt that we were one in spirit and I was bonded with all of the people there, as we worshipped our one true God and Master. It made up for another area in my life in which disunity is dominant. During the sign of peace, Jerry still remembered me in his greeting. :) The Word was spoken and two messages came forth. I thought the first one was for me. "Love one another as I have loved you." However, I now know that it was truly the second one, which I will write on later.
During worship, Spirit Song just broke me. I started thinking of the pain of my loved ones, especially of that accumulated over time and just cried. God knew I had come to pray for their healing and was doing so through me. "Oh let Him have the things that hold you...will descend upon your life and make you whole....Give Him all your years of pain and you'll enter into life in Jesus's name."
My Greatest Love Is You is one of my favourites. "Wash over me, cleansing me through." I desired to be thoroughly cleansed by God. It was a worship filled with freedom. I just let myself go and even swayed to the music. I just let the presence of God envelop me. I had nothing else on my mind. It has been a very long time since I felt that. I would have danced if not for my leg, so my heart danced. The leader mentioned that it is a grace to be able to pray and I had an epiphany then. So I prayed for the grace upon my loved one. I also offered up negative thoughts to be replaced with positive ones.
The talk was on meeting Jesus face to face. Songs were mentioned as a way and I know they are extremely powerful for me. They can reduce me to tears. Revelations 3 was quoted and I thought of my loved one. "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."
We went into deeper worship and I know God knew what my heart's desires were. I Offer My Life spoke them out. "Things in the past, things yet unseen. Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true...all of my plans...Everything I've been through, use it for your glory."
I was preparing myself to go up for praying over and I felt the natural feeling of being there made me take the praying over session for granted. I then had a strange feeling which I've never had before every praying over session. I actually told God,"I yearn for you, I want to rest in you." Usually I will go up with intentions to be prayed for. This time, it was just to rest, not out of tiredness but out of just being with him, as Melvin spoke about. God had made the talk come alive for me. My heart did not even beat fast as it usually does beforehand. It was just a yearning for Him.
When I went up, Uncle Bonnie asked how my leg was. I felt loved at his concern. I was asked on what intentions I had and when I said I had numerous, was asked to surrender to the Lord. I was also asked to make Him no. 1 in my life and the ruler of my life. I think I know what he was referring to. That is difficult though...
I know God's power was upon me. Just a light push from him cannot have made me fall so quickly and strongly. Uncle is anointed too and God was using him to minister to me. I felt the swift movement and the audible 'thud' as I was slain. I was wondering as I lay on the ground, if it was really God's power but I knew that was a doubt. I decided to just enjoy the rest with God and knew He'd wake me at the appropriate time.
In Christ Alone was being sung and I know I've to trust God in everything and give Him credit for everything. Then we sang my ultimate favourite Worthy Is The Lamb. I just really felt exalted within to praise Him, to shout and proclaim His goodness. I lifted my hands higher than I ever have. This song broke me too. I just let all my emotions out.
During testimony, Lincoln said a statement that exactly described my feeling. "I'm home." We ended off with God Is Here. It meant differently to me this time as compared to the beginning of the whole session. I had truly experienced God in His power, rest and healing during the whole session and God was there, yes.
As I went home, something struck me. The second message during the proclamation of the Word was more precisely for me than the first one. "Come unto me all who weary and are overburdened, and I will give you rest." I was overburdened with all the things that had happened leading up to my concert and wanted to pray about them. Then God wanted me to rest in Him. :)
I hope I won't take Him for granted and not resume my weekly sessions, as my intention this time was to spiritually prepare for the concert.
I received a very loving welcome from Aunty Anna who held my hand and walked with me all the way to my seat, asking after me all the while. I was not made to feel forgotten or irritating with her assurance that I was kept in prayer. Then In Christ Alone was practiced and I was struck by the fact that there was a message within for me. Still was played in the background instead of At The Cross. It was a surprising change but I felt good listening to it. "Be still and know that I am God" was the message that came to me then.
Sharon came and it was good that she did. She was thinking of me too. :) We exchanged phone numbers. Then we started the session. I felt I was naturally where I was. I didn't feel out of place even though I had been absent for 3 months, unlike when I felt it in choir after having left for a while.
You Are My Love and My Light was a song that spoke out what I had been experiencing through this period of time. "You are my hope in the night." I felt that we were one in spirit and I was bonded with all of the people there, as we worshipped our one true God and Master. It made up for another area in my life in which disunity is dominant. During the sign of peace, Jerry still remembered me in his greeting. :) The Word was spoken and two messages came forth. I thought the first one was for me. "Love one another as I have loved you." However, I now know that it was truly the second one, which I will write on later.
During worship, Spirit Song just broke me. I started thinking of the pain of my loved ones, especially of that accumulated over time and just cried. God knew I had come to pray for their healing and was doing so through me. "Oh let Him have the things that hold you...will descend upon your life and make you whole....Give Him all your years of pain and you'll enter into life in Jesus's name."
My Greatest Love Is You is one of my favourites. "Wash over me, cleansing me through." I desired to be thoroughly cleansed by God. It was a worship filled with freedom. I just let myself go and even swayed to the music. I just let the presence of God envelop me. I had nothing else on my mind. It has been a very long time since I felt that. I would have danced if not for my leg, so my heart danced. The leader mentioned that it is a grace to be able to pray and I had an epiphany then. So I prayed for the grace upon my loved one. I also offered up negative thoughts to be replaced with positive ones.
The talk was on meeting Jesus face to face. Songs were mentioned as a way and I know they are extremely powerful for me. They can reduce me to tears. Revelations 3 was quoted and I thought of my loved one. "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."
We went into deeper worship and I know God knew what my heart's desires were. I Offer My Life spoke them out. "Things in the past, things yet unseen. Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true...all of my plans...Everything I've been through, use it for your glory."
I was preparing myself to go up for praying over and I felt the natural feeling of being there made me take the praying over session for granted. I then had a strange feeling which I've never had before every praying over session. I actually told God,"I yearn for you, I want to rest in you." Usually I will go up with intentions to be prayed for. This time, it was just to rest, not out of tiredness but out of just being with him, as Melvin spoke about. God had made the talk come alive for me. My heart did not even beat fast as it usually does beforehand. It was just a yearning for Him.
When I went up, Uncle Bonnie asked how my leg was. I felt loved at his concern. I was asked on what intentions I had and when I said I had numerous, was asked to surrender to the Lord. I was also asked to make Him no. 1 in my life and the ruler of my life. I think I know what he was referring to. That is difficult though...
I know God's power was upon me. Just a light push from him cannot have made me fall so quickly and strongly. Uncle is anointed too and God was using him to minister to me. I felt the swift movement and the audible 'thud' as I was slain. I was wondering as I lay on the ground, if it was really God's power but I knew that was a doubt. I decided to just enjoy the rest with God and knew He'd wake me at the appropriate time.
In Christ Alone was being sung and I know I've to trust God in everything and give Him credit for everything. Then we sang my ultimate favourite Worthy Is The Lamb. I just really felt exalted within to praise Him, to shout and proclaim His goodness. I lifted my hands higher than I ever have. This song broke me too. I just let all my emotions out.
During testimony, Lincoln said a statement that exactly described my feeling. "I'm home." We ended off with God Is Here. It meant differently to me this time as compared to the beginning of the whole session. I had truly experienced God in His power, rest and healing during the whole session and God was there, yes.
As I went home, something struck me. The second message during the proclamation of the Word was more precisely for me than the first one. "Come unto me all who weary and are overburdened, and I will give you rest." I was overburdened with all the things that had happened leading up to my concert and wanted to pray about them. Then God wanted me to rest in Him. :)
I hope I won't take Him for granted and not resume my weekly sessions, as my intention this time was to spiritually prepare for the concert.
Where's the true meaning of Christmas in UK?
Most primary schools in UK have opted to stage secular plays in place of the Nativity story for Christmas. That is such a sad state of affairs. Their reason is that they are afraid to offend those students of other faiths. Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ and that is how it even got its name! The principals didn't become what they are for no reason. As principals, they have the right to decide to educate and enlighten the non-Christian students on the real meaning of Christmas. Yes, indeed the principals will fail in their duty as educators if this materialises.
I don't deny Scoorge or A Christmas Carol is a good story to share with the students but the values embodied, that of love, forgiveness and goodwill, really start with the Nativity story. Love is the reason Christ was born and forgiveness was seen in Joseph when he agreed to marry Mary despite having to father a child which wasn't his. Goodwill was wished upon all man by the angels who appeared to the shepherds to announce the Good News. I feel that this decision, if implemented, is a foolish one. Again, they are repeating history, back in 2004.
I would like to quote Oxford University Professor of Educational Studies Terence Copley's view here. He has said exactly what I feel. He said the idea that the nativity plays could offend other faiths was "crazy", that he has "never met a single Jew, Muslim, Sikh or Buddhist who has objected to the commemoration and celebration of the birth of Jesus." He feels that "if we avoid Christmas we are pandering to a secular minority and allowing the event to become all about commercialism, presents and self-indulgence."
The principals are just afraid it will happen but so far, no one has protested. I feel they are being paranoid here. England's royal family is Anglican. After all, the Church of England started with Henry VIII. This story is definitely in the country's culture, according to experts on religious education. The season of Christmas is already so materialistically celebrated in society. Isn't it a duty for the schools to set things right with the future generations?
So what if the students are of different ethnic races? The essence of learning is to be exposed to new things, especially for non-Christians. The school in Barking wants to learn about other cultures. It can still be done by discussing the different ways in which Christmas is celebrated in various countries but the Nativity story is an unchanged essentiality of the season. Another in Birmingham tries to apply the story to present times by changing the gifts of the Magis to social concepts. That is commendable but some things can't be watered down. The gifts should still stay as they are though thinking out of the box from them can be done.
My church choir has annual concerts and we usually work with a school choir. Most of the students in it are not Christians but they still sing carols on the birth of Jesus Christ. They get to learn about the true origin of Christmas in this way, like it or not. They then realise that Christmas is not just about parties, fashion and shopping. They have truly learnt.
Mr Rupert Kaye of the Association of Christian Teachers feels that "Christmas encourages all people to ponder the profound and sacred." Christmas is a sacred season after all.
I don't deny Scoorge or A Christmas Carol is a good story to share with the students but the values embodied, that of love, forgiveness and goodwill, really start with the Nativity story. Love is the reason Christ was born and forgiveness was seen in Joseph when he agreed to marry Mary despite having to father a child which wasn't his. Goodwill was wished upon all man by the angels who appeared to the shepherds to announce the Good News. I feel that this decision, if implemented, is a foolish one. Again, they are repeating history, back in 2004.
I would like to quote Oxford University Professor of Educational Studies Terence Copley's view here. He has said exactly what I feel. He said the idea that the nativity plays could offend other faiths was "crazy", that he has "never met a single Jew, Muslim, Sikh or Buddhist who has objected to the commemoration and celebration of the birth of Jesus." He feels that "if we avoid Christmas we are pandering to a secular minority and allowing the event to become all about commercialism, presents and self-indulgence."
The principals are just afraid it will happen but so far, no one has protested. I feel they are being paranoid here. England's royal family is Anglican. After all, the Church of England started with Henry VIII. This story is definitely in the country's culture, according to experts on religious education. The season of Christmas is already so materialistically celebrated in society. Isn't it a duty for the schools to set things right with the future generations?
So what if the students are of different ethnic races? The essence of learning is to be exposed to new things, especially for non-Christians. The school in Barking wants to learn about other cultures. It can still be done by discussing the different ways in which Christmas is celebrated in various countries but the Nativity story is an unchanged essentiality of the season. Another in Birmingham tries to apply the story to present times by changing the gifts of the Magis to social concepts. That is commendable but some things can't be watered down. The gifts should still stay as they are though thinking out of the box from them can be done.
My church choir has annual concerts and we usually work with a school choir. Most of the students in it are not Christians but they still sing carols on the birth of Jesus Christ. They get to learn about the true origin of Christmas in this way, like it or not. They then realise that Christmas is not just about parties, fashion and shopping. They have truly learnt.
Mr Rupert Kaye of the Association of Christian Teachers feels that "Christmas encourages all people to ponder the profound and sacred." Christmas is a sacred season after all.
Christmas praise - charismatic style!
This was the first time I celebrated Christmas with the Charismatic group. It was fulfilling, both spiritually and socially. I look forward to more to come.
When I arrived at the chapel, it was so crowded and there were many visitors. I couldn't sit at my usual place. We started off the session by preparing our hearts for the time with our King. It was a good move instead of just plunging into the songs straightaway.
As we sang familiar carols, I encountered new musical styles. We sang the first verse of Away in a Manger in the traditionally slow way but increased the tempo for the rest of the verses. Besides other carols like Mary's Boy Child, we also sang We are the Reason.
It was so different from my usual Christmas mass. I could actually mean my lyrics as I sang them, since I wasn't entrusted to sing in order to touch people around me as I am at choir. I sang for myself and to God. I was free to just lift my hands while worshipping.
The talk was on God's blessings upon Christian. He shared on his physical pain a few months back and how God healed him for His glory and service, as well as how God has blessed him with children when it was medically impossible. We had a mass intercessory session and I used the opportunity to ask God for certain favours. As testimony time came, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to give. I prayed about it and somehow I found myself going forward to do so. I had been gifted with two Christmas miracles and spoke about them. I also gave back to God what I owed him: a testimony on my arthritis.
A few people came up to me to thank me for my testimony and I give the glory back to Him. I feel that God had used me to touch people. We had a Christmas meal and were given presents too. :) The leaders charmed us with their singing and I liked all of them, really. They have sweet voices, I mean, the girls. Christian sang this song by Clay Aiken and I love Clay's voice. I went home to look for the video and found it!
The meal made me even more aware of why I like CTK. The people know when to pray and play. You can hear a pin drop at the Reconciliation services as people don't treat them as social functions, something which my parish has to learn. They pray and play with all their hearts at the proper times. Almost all of them are very welcoming and caring to newcomers. Note that I'm not from their parish and they know that.
When I arrived at the chapel, it was so crowded and there were many visitors. I couldn't sit at my usual place. We started off the session by preparing our hearts for the time with our King. It was a good move instead of just plunging into the songs straightaway.
As we sang familiar carols, I encountered new musical styles. We sang the first verse of Away in a Manger in the traditionally slow way but increased the tempo for the rest of the verses. Besides other carols like Mary's Boy Child, we also sang We are the Reason.
It was so different from my usual Christmas mass. I could actually mean my lyrics as I sang them, since I wasn't entrusted to sing in order to touch people around me as I am at choir. I sang for myself and to God. I was free to just lift my hands while worshipping.
The talk was on God's blessings upon Christian. He shared on his physical pain a few months back and how God healed him for His glory and service, as well as how God has blessed him with children when it was medically impossible. We had a mass intercessory session and I used the opportunity to ask God for certain favours. As testimony time came, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to give. I prayed about it and somehow I found myself going forward to do so. I had been gifted with two Christmas miracles and spoke about them. I also gave back to God what I owed him: a testimony on my arthritis.
A few people came up to me to thank me for my testimony and I give the glory back to Him. I feel that God had used me to touch people. We had a Christmas meal and were given presents too. :) The leaders charmed us with their singing and I liked all of them, really. They have sweet voices, I mean, the girls. Christian sang this song by Clay Aiken and I love Clay's voice. I went home to look for the video and found it!
The meal made me even more aware of why I like CTK. The people know when to pray and play. You can hear a pin drop at the Reconciliation services as people don't treat them as social functions, something which my parish has to learn. They pray and play with all their hearts at the proper times. Almost all of them are very welcoming and caring to newcomers. Note that I'm not from their parish and they know that.
God's different faces to me
God never fails to show me how 'new' he is at Charismatic. He gave me a deep peace which I knew was from Him. At the same time, it told me that He was there even though I didn't break down into tears as I usually do. It didn't mean that He didn't overwhelm or touch me with His presence and grace. It was a different kind. I hope to be more balanced in my character and His peace allowed me to be calm.
He then revealed to me His full glory when I was being prayed over. It was the second consecutive time he chose to do so at intercessory session. I just fell straight to the ground with a "whoosh" and a "thud". Even the intercessors were unprepared for it. His power just manifested itself to me each time.
On a second occasion, he let me rest in Him during intercessory prayers. Also, he touched me so deeply with the song Worthy Is The Lamb, as he never fails to. I could not sing the chorus and just broke down in gratitude towards what he has done for me.
What can I say? I just stand in awe of my God.
He then revealed to me His full glory when I was being prayed over. It was the second consecutive time he chose to do so at intercessory session. I just fell straight to the ground with a "whoosh" and a "thud". Even the intercessors were unprepared for it. His power just manifested itself to me each time.
On a second occasion, he let me rest in Him during intercessory prayers. Also, he touched me so deeply with the song Worthy Is The Lamb, as he never fails to. I could not sing the chorus and just broke down in gratitude towards what he has done for me.
What can I say? I just stand in awe of my God.
God's mercy and marvels
[Sept 4: Drop those burdens
Our God is our supply.
Look to Me for all... Rely on Me for all. Drop those burdens and then singing and free, you can go on your way rejoicing.
Drop them at My Feet, knowing surely that I will lift them and deal with each one as is truly best.]
This is the excerpt from God calling, a daily meditation book. It summarises what took place on that day and my feelings. It was the culmination of the week's spirituality for me, as mentioned in the last paragraph of the entry on seeking my Master's help above that of human. I decided to rest in the Lord, to sing His will.
I was adequate in knowledge. I managed to correct my mistakes before the actual performance, bring out the mood and technicality of the music and most importantly, pray the music for the good of others. All these were only because God on high chose to answer me. He did deal with the prayers in His own way. His saints helped too. I was made as His instrument to others as well.
A miracle took place. I use this word because I was not totally trusting in Him although I had prayed to Him and yet He showed me that He'll do what He wants even if my faith is left wanting. Our human feelings don't define His will for us. This is the most outstanding lesson I learnt that day.
We watched a presentation and emotions welled up within me again as the victory celebrations for our award 2 years back was flashed across the screen. That was a very poignant time for me. That was when I felt strongly the mercy God had shown me by giving me a second chance to return to the group, even though I didn't sound it out to Him and wallowed in silence. I guess that was why I still felt emotional at the presentation. That scene was accompanied by the song we sang after the results: My Tribute. We couldn't have obtained the award without His grace and we give it back to Him, our Giver.
Our God is our supply.
Look to Me for all... Rely on Me for all. Drop those burdens and then singing and free, you can go on your way rejoicing.
Drop them at My Feet, knowing surely that I will lift them and deal with each one as is truly best.]
This is the excerpt from God calling, a daily meditation book. It summarises what took place on that day and my feelings. It was the culmination of the week's spirituality for me, as mentioned in the last paragraph of the entry on seeking my Master's help above that of human. I decided to rest in the Lord, to sing His will.
I was adequate in knowledge. I managed to correct my mistakes before the actual performance, bring out the mood and technicality of the music and most importantly, pray the music for the good of others. All these were only because God on high chose to answer me. He did deal with the prayers in His own way. His saints helped too. I was made as His instrument to others as well.
A miracle took place. I use this word because I was not totally trusting in Him although I had prayed to Him and yet He showed me that He'll do what He wants even if my faith is left wanting. Our human feelings don't define His will for us. This is the most outstanding lesson I learnt that day.
We watched a presentation and emotions welled up within me again as the victory celebrations for our award 2 years back was flashed across the screen. That was a very poignant time for me. That was when I felt strongly the mercy God had shown me by giving me a second chance to return to the group, even though I didn't sound it out to Him and wallowed in silence. I guess that was why I still felt emotional at the presentation. That scene was accompanied by the song we sang after the results: My Tribute. We couldn't have obtained the award without His grace and we give it back to Him, our Giver.
Our God is one of surprises
This was a quote by Mich and I'm taking it as a mantra. He has shown it to me twice. I was supposed to go out with another friend but due to her work, she couldn't meet me. Mich was supposed to end lecture early but didn't. She decided to go to a church nearer her uni for mass instead of rushing down to ours. Thus she was on the way home when I contacted her. She decided to ask me out for dinner and I agreed to meet her. It came just when I was deciding what dinner to buy home. When we met, she provided very enlightening answers to my preoccupations. God made things just fall into place so we could meet, even though they initially seemed negative. Besides that, the time spent with her and her parents brought me joy.
I met another friend for supper and had to wait for her to come meet me. I sensed awkwardness between us at first too but it may be due to my sensitivity. However, once I started sharing with her something, without intending to actually, due to fear of receiving a negative opinion, she surprised me with a comment that showed she understood my deepest feelings. She was the first one actually, towards this issue. She was the first one that said something positive about it. Indeed, she was God's instrument, as she said. Thanks Hazel! :)
God surpassed my expectations on these two occasions, especially the second one. It was really really unexpected. He showed me that though He's really the only one who can really understand me and bear with my eccentricities, He provides angels at times too, like Hazel. The first one was not without impact too. I tried out the idea which Mich gave and yes, I am much happier in mind and heart. I put on the attitude and hey presto, woa! :)
A smaller surprise is how God answered a prayer in an unxpected way. I was prepared for the worst and thought of backup plans. In the end, I didn't even need to use them! This is not the first time too. Woa, He takes my breath away!
I met another friend for supper and had to wait for her to come meet me. I sensed awkwardness between us at first too but it may be due to my sensitivity. However, once I started sharing with her something, without intending to actually, due to fear of receiving a negative opinion, she surprised me with a comment that showed she understood my deepest feelings. She was the first one actually, towards this issue. She was the first one that said something positive about it. Indeed, she was God's instrument, as she said. Thanks Hazel! :)
God surpassed my expectations on these two occasions, especially the second one. It was really really unexpected. He showed me that though He's really the only one who can really understand me and bear with my eccentricities, He provides angels at times too, like Hazel. The first one was not without impact too. I tried out the idea which Mich gave and yes, I am much happier in mind and heart. I put on the attitude and hey presto, woa! :)
A smaller surprise is how God answered a prayer in an unxpected way. I was prepared for the worst and thought of backup plans. In the end, I didn't even need to use them! This is not the first time too. Woa, He takes my breath away!
Seeking my Master's help instead of using my own effort
This title has been in my mind for a long time. From using it as a counselling tool to self-admonishment, it has been rampant. I told someone preparing for confirmation that she has to be careful not to do it by her own efforts. She has to remember that she has to open herself to His molding too. After all, everything is by Him. I told one of my students that sometimes in the process of studying for tests, we tend to do it by our own efforts and act as if He isn't God of our lives. Hence we get stressed up. When we offer up our tests and fears of them to Him, we feel better. Psychological comfort, as critics will say but to me, that's divine strength and assurance.
The most prominent way that this has proved its truth is when I was depending on human efforts for the second time. Both times, it was on the same issue of upcoming performances. I was desperate to learn my piece and approached friends for help. What I failed to do was to ask the best Helper. When I couldn't get anyone, boy was I mad. I was pissed that when it came to my turn to ask them for help, I couldn't get any. That was disregarding the fact that they had their reasons. I was overwhelmed by emotions. I was prepared to just perform badly as a result.
Then something in me told me to go for mass. God really spoke to me there and in such a gentle manner that it shamed me. The priest said when things get tough, we should get joy from His strength. In the first reading, it said that if we want Him to be King of our lives, we have to seek shelter in Him. The homily was the climax, when the priest said that God is shockingly generous.
Immediately after mass, someone I didn't really expect to offer help agreed to. I was so overwhelmed that I bought a gift for her. It may have been a small gesture to her but it meant a lot to me because I was desperate for help. She was God's instrument to me. Indeed, He's shockingly generous. The shame I felt at myself was that I sought God as a last resort, when all other avenues had failed. He gently admonished me by giving me the human help I sought only after I had sought Him. So, 'seek ye first the kingdom of God and all things shall be given unto thee '.
This third time round, I am depending on His help and so far, things are falling into place. When I turn to Him, He provides for me and angels are with me. I must not stop putting Him in the centre even though I have achieved my aim. There is still the actual performance to come. I must thank Him for his angels and seek to glorify His name.
The most prominent way that this has proved its truth is when I was depending on human efforts for the second time. Both times, it was on the same issue of upcoming performances. I was desperate to learn my piece and approached friends for help. What I failed to do was to ask the best Helper. When I couldn't get anyone, boy was I mad. I was pissed that when it came to my turn to ask them for help, I couldn't get any. That was disregarding the fact that they had their reasons. I was overwhelmed by emotions. I was prepared to just perform badly as a result.
Then something in me told me to go for mass. God really spoke to me there and in such a gentle manner that it shamed me. The priest said when things get tough, we should get joy from His strength. In the first reading, it said that if we want Him to be King of our lives, we have to seek shelter in Him. The homily was the climax, when the priest said that God is shockingly generous.
Immediately after mass, someone I didn't really expect to offer help agreed to. I was so overwhelmed that I bought a gift for her. It may have been a small gesture to her but it meant a lot to me because I was desperate for help. She was God's instrument to me. Indeed, He's shockingly generous. The shame I felt at myself was that I sought God as a last resort, when all other avenues had failed. He gently admonished me by giving me the human help I sought only after I had sought Him. So, 'seek ye first the kingdom of God and all things shall be given unto thee '.
This third time round, I am depending on His help and so far, things are falling into place. When I turn to Him, He provides for me and angels are with me. I must not stop putting Him in the centre even though I have achieved my aim. There is still the actual performance to come. I must thank Him for his angels and seek to glorify His name.
Peace
An excerpt from God Calling by A. J. Russell, a book on daily meditations.
'Stop all work, stop all intercourse with others - until this (peace) is restored. Do not let those about you spoil your peace of heart and mind. Do not let anyone without, any trouble, any irritation, any adversity, disturb it for one moment.'
Did this before I read the book and wow wee, God's affirmation to my decision! I had work to do for the next day and was stressed out by it. I decided not to do it and to get away from the stress associated with it. I wanted to be with my best friend to gain respite from the time spent talking but decided against it too. I decided to seek His works in His music and here am I now, giving praise to Him, after having read this!
It is not a waste of time, I can assure you. Despite the loads of work waiting to be done, the commitments waiting to be met, the friends waiting to be consoled, God is worth forsaking all these imposed responsibilities for. He gives u renewed strength and energy. You can face all these much better, believe me. Try it, there's more to gain when you do!
'Stop all work, stop all intercourse with others - until this (peace) is restored. Do not let those about you spoil your peace of heart and mind. Do not let anyone without, any trouble, any irritation, any adversity, disturb it for one moment.'
Did this before I read the book and wow wee, God's affirmation to my decision! I had work to do for the next day and was stressed out by it. I decided not to do it and to get away from the stress associated with it. I wanted to be with my best friend to gain respite from the time spent talking but decided against it too. I decided to seek His works in His music and here am I now, giving praise to Him, after having read this!
It is not a waste of time, I can assure you. Despite the loads of work waiting to be done, the commitments waiting to be met, the friends waiting to be consoled, God is worth forsaking all these imposed responsibilities for. He gives u renewed strength and energy. You can face all these much better, believe me. Try it, there's more to gain when you do!
Human imperfection or pig-headed arrogance?!
It is ironic, that the salespeople in religious bookshops can be so un-religious when they're playing religious music in the background. They behave so contrary to how they should be. They are Catholics after all, since you need to be one in order to work in these bookshops. The track played was Make Me A Channel Of Your Peace and yet they were grumbling continuously about someone who had spoilt their day. If I was a non-Catholic, I would be totally put off by their behaviour and think twice about converting, should I have this desire in mind. They should at the very least choose to do it when there are no customers around!
It is difficult to be an ambassador of Christ and hence people get the wrong impressions about us. The difficulty in being Christ's light to others is existent but it should not stop us from making an effort to do so! Look what the lack has resulted in! We have to be more conscious of how we may look to people around us, in terms of our behaviour. We don't want to disgrace our Master, do we?!
However, it boils down to dealing with internal strife before external impressions. How can we achieve evangelization if we don't achieve ecumenism?! If we continue to disrespect and even mock other denominations' practices and beliefs with such self-righteousness and thoughtlessness, then we're reflecting badly on ourselves and on our faith and God! We were not taught to be like this, were we?! I wish I could say this to the parties involved but I think I'd be just wasting my effort, since they already have their own mindset! Oh well, my God taught me to practise self-control, patience, gentleness and love above all. Anyway, He probably already knew and heard what they said. He'll handle this matter. Call me passive but I prefer to be known as someone who lets God be God.
It is difficult to be an ambassador of Christ and hence people get the wrong impressions about us. The difficulty in being Christ's light to others is existent but it should not stop us from making an effort to do so! Look what the lack has resulted in! We have to be more conscious of how we may look to people around us, in terms of our behaviour. We don't want to disgrace our Master, do we?!
However, it boils down to dealing with internal strife before external impressions. How can we achieve evangelization if we don't achieve ecumenism?! If we continue to disrespect and even mock other denominations' practices and beliefs with such self-righteousness and thoughtlessness, then we're reflecting badly on ourselves and on our faith and God! We were not taught to be like this, were we?! I wish I could say this to the parties involved but I think I'd be just wasting my effort, since they already have their own mindset! Oh well, my God taught me to practise self-control, patience, gentleness and love above all. Anyway, He probably already knew and heard what they said. He'll handle this matter. Call me passive but I prefer to be known as someone who lets God be God.
Church Politics
So many spats take place in society. So much judgement, arrogance and self-righteousness, with disrespect and disregard for others' viewpoints occur. Feelings are neglected and self supercedes everything else. These are the microscopic versions of wars. Greed and desire for power, ranking, position and hierarchy are the aims. Clubs are in the news for this phenomenon but most shamefully, even churches. The reason for all these is the existence of humans! We were not made as we are but the progress of time has degraded and degenerated our values. Religion and faith have become episodes to correct others' viewpoints even if we have no right to, rather than focusing on the source of our faith, which is, God!
We have become morally licentious and this label is notwithstanding the sexual promiscuity and lack of purity around. Extremism and terrorism result from pride, in the name of God! Our God of LOVE! Who is deemed more worthy, more faithful when we are all humans in the sight of the MOST HIGH?! God's name has been greatly abused by humans in conducting these illicit activities. He does not want all these, we make it seem that He does! We scandalise him and profane His holy name and presence with blasphemy, murder and crime! God will judge and punish the wicked. We are not letting Him be who He is by taking over His role of justifier, judge and revenger. In His time, at the proper stage in history, will He advocate His reign fully. If He exudes mercy and patience now, we are belittling his rule by being our own executors. Everyone will have to answer to the Most High ultimately for all our deeds. Let the wicked-doers gain their punishment then! Why do it for Him? He does not need us to. He is the Almighty, all-powerful and ever living God!
Why spend all our time fighting among ourselves when He called us to spread His love?
So remember His message to us
We are one family in the Lord, working hand in hand
So apt to describe politics in church, where people who serve "for God's glory" desire personal power, ranking and recognition instead. They want to prove to others that their views are in accordance with the laws and they love God through what they do and say. Is there a need to prove anything when God has eyes to see their heart?!
We have become morally licentious and this label is notwithstanding the sexual promiscuity and lack of purity around. Extremism and terrorism result from pride, in the name of God! Our God of LOVE! Who is deemed more worthy, more faithful when we are all humans in the sight of the MOST HIGH?! God's name has been greatly abused by humans in conducting these illicit activities. He does not want all these, we make it seem that He does! We scandalise him and profane His holy name and presence with blasphemy, murder and crime! God will judge and punish the wicked. We are not letting Him be who He is by taking over His role of justifier, judge and revenger. In His time, at the proper stage in history, will He advocate His reign fully. If He exudes mercy and patience now, we are belittling his rule by being our own executors. Everyone will have to answer to the Most High ultimately for all our deeds. Let the wicked-doers gain their punishment then! Why do it for Him? He does not need us to. He is the Almighty, all-powerful and ever living God!
Why spend all our time fighting among ourselves when He called us to spread His love?
So remember His message to us
We are one family in the Lord, working hand in hand
So apt to describe politics in church, where people who serve "for God's glory" desire personal power, ranking and recognition instead. They want to prove to others that their views are in accordance with the laws and they love God through what they do and say. Is there a need to prove anything when God has eyes to see their heart?!
Abstinence...Resisted temptation...Sacrifice of love
I feel a sense of pride at being able to resist the temptation of wanting to order Chinese-style pork chops on a Friday, when as a Catholic, I've to abstain from meat. I so wanted to order it and do another form of abstinence, as we're allowed to. However I told myself I'll not order it and offered this up as a sacrifice for my loved ones.
Then I found out I could eat meat that day because it was a Solemnity. Aiya, oh well, I feel prouder cos I resisted the temptation even though I didn't have to. :) Also, I get to pray for my loved ones by offering it up for them.
Then I found out I could eat meat that day because it was a Solemnity. Aiya, oh well, I feel prouder cos I resisted the temptation even though I didn't have to. :) Also, I get to pray for my loved ones by offering it up for them.
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