What Christmas should mean for me

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/christmas-is-more-than-a-temporal-celebration-pope-reflects/

Lord Jesus, please come to me this Christmas as my Healer, my Lover, my Bridegroom, my Husband and my Life Partner.
However, may this encounter be just the start of your coming in this way, into my daily life.
Let me keep in mind that though I go to you, my heart must be open to your coming. It is your coming into my life that is the key, not just my going to you. It must be a two-way thing,

True repentance, as inspired by St Francis of Assisi

I committed a most grievous sin and somehow, the Spirit placed in me the desire to turn my sin into good. I prayed that this sin would cause me to be called to a higher purpose, for God's glory, somewhat like how St Francis of Assisi was called out of his secular lifestyle to God's service. This is true repentance prompted by the Spirit indeed!

A holy dream

I dreamt of singing hymns and worship songs last night. Perhaps it was God calling my soul to spend time with Him in worship and my own soul's reciprocation through song.

The Spirit speaks

- God is still worthy to be praised despite what I feel.
- God calls me not just to be in this choir but calls my very soul to come to Him; to be loved by Him.

a prayer based on psalm 119

Lord, I can never fully reconcile his sufferings to your purposes for him. Forgive me for those hurtful and undermining words. My faith is weak, increase my faith. I know you are making him like you but help me realise this. you are suffering eternally each time we sin against you. you chose to suffer for us, despite you being God. How good, great and loving you are! Forgive me for not having acknowledged the full meaning of what you suffered for ME!

Thank you Lord, for having called me despite my failure of you, for having made my rejections in life a calling. I remember how you called me to your presence, to affirm me of your everlasting love in my life.

Lord, how can I be pleasing to you? Despite this, I am because you think so. Lord, how can I then feel insecure in life when I am secure in your love?

God knows my soul

I could not Stand In Awe of God on Saturday. So drained and exhausted I was, internally. It took a mindset of the sacrifice of praise to be able to sing it.

However, He knew, as He does everyone's soul. Just before I left for church, I listened to You Alone and it allowed me to truly worship Him. He knew, and spoke through my conductor, who chose this exact hymn for mass. I could then sincerely and really pay tribute to my God who knows me through and through.

I Stand In Awe

You Alone

Mass - always good

There is no such thing as a bad Mass. The Mass in itself is always good. It is our truest disposition within that causes us to perceive it as bad.

When we fail to give our deepest and most sincere worship to God most present in the Blessed Sacrament, a soul to its Maker, and allow externalities to affect our offering of service, we are the ones who make Mass bad.

Break Through by Don Moen

A perplexing dream

It was a dream where I was specially called to a different retreat from my choirmates, through a seminarian friend. I initially felt fear upon knowing I had been called but it was soon gone. It was mostly being in front of the Blessed Sacrament at the Minor Seminary, though the adoration chapel differs in reality.

I kept having fainting fits without warning but I soon realized God communicated with me through them. I told my SD about my fits in the dream; a different one from the one in real life. She led me to a bookshelf and mentioned St Gertrude to me, that the saint had experienced them too.

I dreamt of my good friend who has lost a friend to his pride. Together, we spoke to my male bestie and we were outside Mount Alvernia Hospital, a different building from the one in real life. He mentioned going for a praying over session with some priests and was happy that Father Damien was on duty that day.

What perplexes me is the numerous and continual fainting fits, as well as the mention of St Gertrude to me by a nun. Hmm....

Conflict in values

It is indeed difficult to maintain purely Christ-like values in the workplace. Despite my condescension and judgement of those who overtly display contradictions between their faith and their practices, I am aware that I too, display subtle aspects.

Forgery and irresponsibility may be immoral but so too, are celestial usage and arrogance. Perhaps, my besties were right. A sin, whether big or small, is still one.

I may not have flouted the rules of no alcohol drinking but by not protesting against that done by others, I actually condone the act....

A prayer to the Holy Spirit

Holy Spirit, fill me with Your silence, even if it is forced.
Your healing silence, Your calming silence.
I offer up to You my conflicts, my confusion, my frustrations, my heartbreak.
I thank You for the good things; the comfortable and soothing moments, the bond shared, the love shown, the fortunate feeling and the enjoyable time, in gratitude.
Amen.

Contemplation on the un-rights in my life

Things go wrong in our lives because we don't get what we want; we are deprived of our self-centred desires. We are also unable to control them from becoming right.

I seek solace in those things I can make right through the choices I make; some of these things are self-inflicted. However, in the uncontrollable, is still control. I can choose to give them over to God to control. That is a form of control; to make the correct choice; the gift of Free Will. God then, loves us so much that He gave us this gift. This means that we can choose to go away from Him, if we want. It is not that I want to leave Him but that I want to show His love for us, such that He does not want to force Himself on us.

At the same time,  it may not be the un-rights in my life but the un-rights in my attitude. With a grateful heart, life can be right :)

Thank you Lord, for Your shield over me, and yet in my hurt and pain Lord, you are.